I’m really scared until he’s inside me. I’m always worried that he might get hurt.
With a papa I’m comfortable with, I always have him start in the missionary position and then sit me up.
But when I’m with someone for the first time, they don’t always understand, or they try to teach me, so I end up having to do more than I want to. I try my best, but maybe because I’m nervous, he can’t get in at all—it feels like the vaginal opening is completely closed—and I end up secretly losing interest, thinking, “I told you I don’t like it…”
Usually, the man eventually gives up and we change positions.
How can I get them to understand how scared I am? Even if they don’t fully understand, what would be an effective way to explain that I’d like them to handle it the way my papa I’m comfortable with does, so I don’t have to guide him in myself?
Right now, I say, “I’m scared of guiding you in while I’m on top, so could you enter me first and then sit me up?”
I want to improve this because it’s really miserable and painful to be naked and floundering around.
For reference, the papa I’m comfortable with accommodated me from the very first time I told him.
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I think it would be best to tell him exactly how you feel. If a man can’t understand and respect your feelings after you say that, it simply means he lacks the capacity to be considerate of others.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here.
When he asks for the cowgirl position, you could try saying, “Could we start in missionary and then switch to cowgirl?”
He might say something like, “If you’re not used to it, I’ll show you,” but you could respond, “I lose the mood if we don’t start in missionary…”
Many men probably won’t really understand if you say you’re afraid you might hurt yourself or that it scares you, so it might be better to come up with another reason, such as saying you prefer missionary or that you enjoy it more that way.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
> How can I get men to understand how scary this is?
> Even if they don’t understand, what’s the most effective way to ask them not to try to put it in from that position, like my papa (a male supporter) friend does?
I believe that’s the main point of your question.
It seems difficult to make every man understand, so rather than insisting on that, you could simply say, “I’m not comfortable with penetration from the cowgirl position, so please have us switch to it from another position.”
If you want to overcome this discomfort, I think you could practice with a papa (a male supporter) you’re comfortable with while hovering just above him as you move into the cowgirl position.
As an aside, I personally like it when a woman takes hold of me and guides me in herself while on top—it feels proactive and erotic.
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