I feel uncomfortable when I’m approached by someone who has a daughter or son—especially if their child is around my age. No matter how nice they are, the fact that they have children is such a major negative for me that I end up deciding to stop seeing them altogether.
This content is machine-translated.
I feel like I’m missing out quite a bit because of this mindset, so I’d like to change the way I think and become more open to people with children. I’d appreciate any advice.
I’m BB7, a male member.
Why are you trying so hard to force yourself to do this? Find another job and work honestly.
Couldn’t your relationship with your parents be influencing you? Try putting yourself in a child’s shoes—wouldn’t you hate it if your own parent were like this? Or thinking, “Men around my father’s age are doing things like this…”
Maybe it feels disgusting because your own parent-child relationship overlaps with the other person’s.
In any case, papa-katsu isn’t suitable for someone as young as you, so you should do something else.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well.
People have all kinds of perspectives, so I believe everyone is free to hold their own views.
That said, if you want to change your way of thinking now, it seems quite difficult.
Even so, I feel there are people who are good at brainwashing.
You might want to look for someone who offers brainwashing or mind-control therapy. Hypnotherapy might be similar, too.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), job hunting, and looking for a spouse are all activities people choose to pursue themselves. Some do them for fun, while others feel they have no choice, but you don’t have to do papa-katsu—it isn’t something you’re obligated to do.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Taro, a male member.
If you’re not exactly doing everything right yourself, you should let go of the idea that you can’t stand it unless your partner is. It goes both ways, doesn’t it? Or were you hoping for a pure romance with someone much younger or older than you??
Even if the man you’re seeing has a child your age or younger, he may be struggling to communicate with them. Since you’re around the same age as that child but in a deep relationship with him, you can objectively—and in a very candid way—teach him about the values and perspectives of your generation. Isn’t that something wonderful?
Instead of thinking, “I hate this kind of thing,” let’s think about what you can do in situations like this.
What you’re doing may be legally acceptable but ethically questionable, so I don’t think it’s a bad thing to find some meaning that helps you justify it to yourself.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Flagmaker, a columnist.
Ah, I can kind of understand where you’re coming from. When I first started doing this, I deliberately didn’t mention that I was married or had children. I was worried women might be put off by it ^^;
Then I had women propose to me and a few other things happened, and I realized I might end up causing them trouble. So these days, whether women are put off or dislike me, I’m completely open about it.
If someone asks, “What do you do on your days off?” I immediately say, “I go to the park with my daughter.” If that puts her off, then what can I say? I think she’s missing out. I’m actually a pretty good guy, lol.
As for my advice: hasn’t the person asking this question actually had relatively little experience with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)? Once you’ve experienced more of both the good and the bad, you’ll realize that whether someone has children or is married doesn’t really matter. What matters is simply whether you’re compatible and whether he’s generous (well-paying).
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Aya, a female member.
I do feel put off by men who make offers to girls younger than their own children, but I look at it with a pretty jaded attitude, thinking that’s just how male desire is.
From a man’s perspective, young women who date multiple men around their fathers’ age in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to get money and gifts must be a huge turnoff too… So I guess it goes both ways. Men probably wouldn’t like it either if their daughter were doing papa-katsu with a man the same age as them.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
