The papa (a male supporter) I’m currently close with is almost twice my age.
Of course, I used polite language when we first met, but now that our relationship has continued for nearly six months, I’ve gradually started to let my guard down. Recently, I sometimes slip out of polite speech, speak casually, or mix in my dialect.
How do men feel about this? (-_-)
Does it leave a bad impression?
I’m Aya, a female member.
I also gradually become less formal once I get comfortable with someone. No one has ever disliked it—in fact, my papa has even asked, “Aren’t you going to stop speaking so formally?”
As long as your language doesn’t become rude, I think it’s perfectly fine.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’ve never really cared whether someone uses casual speech with me, but now that I think about it, lately the women I’m seeing have increasingly noticed when they’ve spoken to me a little too casually and corrected themselves.
I don’t expect them to use polite language, since that can create a sense of distance. However, I believe decent people naturally speak to others respectfully, so I’m not particularly fond of overly casual speech.
It doesn’t bother me when they notice they’ve slipped out of polite language and correct themselves. I just take it as a sign that we’ve become comfortable enough with each other to let our guard down a little.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Personally, I wouldn’t find it unpleasant—in fact, I’d be happy about it. When someone is speaking standard Japanese and naturally slips into their dialect without realizing it, I find that cute.
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I’m Papahikoki, a male member.
I’m not sure whether my favorite girl speaks to me formally or casually… It’s a long story, but I’ve never really cared about it…
Wouldn’t it be better to have a relationship where you can say whatever you want without worrying about being overly considerate?
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I’m Taro, a male member.
I think speaking casually is perfectly fine. Using a dialect is a nice bonus, too.
If you’re in it for the long term, I think it’s better for both of you to have a relationship where you can be yourselves.
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I’m in Seattle.
I prefer speaking casually. Once you keep seeing each other, it naturally becomes that way.
Personally, I prefer it from the very first meeting.
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I’ll answer too—Maezawa from the CEO’s Office.
If he hasn’t said anything so far, he’s probably fine with you speaking casually.
If a man doesn’t like it, he’ll likely brush it off lightly with something like, “Whoa, that wording…” without saying anything too harsh.
If he shows even the slightest sign of that, you may need to speak more politely—not necessarily using formal language, but at least keeping your tone respectful.
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