(After receiving an offer) What should I always confirm when meeting a woman for the first time?
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I’m a beginner, but this is what I’ve come up with:
① If I like her
・Contact information (since Universe won’t mediate after the second meeting)
・How we’ll see each other going forward and the allowance (and whether we can agree on the terms)
② If she’s not really my type, or she doesn’t seem interested, haha
・Nothing in particular to confirm
Thank you in advance.
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here—I’ll answer too.
> What should I always confirm the first time I meet a woman after making an offer?
① Give her 5,000–10,000 yen at the beginning of the meal. (The fact that it’s at the beginning is important, so she doesn’t feel uneasy.)
② Keep the conversation fun during the meal. (If you bring up intimacy or the terms of the arrangement during dinner, she may feel uncomfortable.)
Those are the things I’d like men to make sure they do.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
In my case, I discussed the allowance and how we would continue seeing each other going forward.
I figured it would help her feel more at ease, since she’d have an idea of what the relationship would look like and know roughly how much the monthly allowance would be.
Since then, I’ve followed through with exactly what I initially told her.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I’ve never discussed future arrangements or allowance during a first date with a Type B woman. That often comes back to bite me, though.
With Type C or higher, I do discuss allowance toward the end, but I don’t talk about how many times we’ll meet per month. Actually, I don’t bring that up afterward either—mainly because I’d probably be the one to break the promise.
For the first meeting, I simply promote myself as a safe and reliable supporter.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
Unless something really puts me off, I usually exchange contact information. Otherwise, I feel like things can get awkward. On the other hand, if she does something that makes me think, “That’s really not okay,” I deliberately don’t exchange contacts. Even if we do exchange them, if I have no intention of meeting again, I simply leave things there without responding.
As for how we might continue seeing each other, I don’t ask about that either, for the same reason as Kazu. With C- or D-type arrangements, of course I confirm the allowance. But with B-type arrangements, some girls are completely turned off the moment you bring up that kind of topic, so I try to read the situation first.
If you’re spending two hours over a meal, I think it’s best to focus on getting to know her and letting her know what kind of person you are through various conversations during the first half. Save the dating-club-related discussion for the second half. Before talking about the terms, if you like her, you should put it into words and let her know how you feel. Naturally, you’ll want to exchange contact information, but I think it’s important to be straightforward and first tell her that you’d like to see her again.
That said, I suppose it depends on the individual’s approach. Anyway, I hope this helps.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
I’ve never actually talked about what kind of relationship we’re looking for.
When I really like someone, she’ll usually contact me first. As I work around her schedule, we gradually meet more often and become closer.
When it comes to someone I really like:
First, I think it’s important to express how happy I am to have met her and how much I like her—really show it. At the same time, it’s essential to calmly assess how much interest and attention she has in me as well.
And when I really, really like someone, I don’t bring up the allowance. Of course, I wouldn’t become fond of someone who was overly concerned about the allowance in the first place.
When I’m not that interested, the time we spend together tends to feel rather matter-of-fact.
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I’m Kaz, a male member.
As for how things will proceed, I don’t really confirm that upfront.
Since we’re still getting to know each other, I figure that as we continue seeing each other, we’ll naturally settle into something that feels comfortable for both of us.
Of course, I do confirm the allowance.
As I mentioned in an earlier answer, there have been a few times when I nearly forgot to ask someone I liked for her LINE contact. Exchanging contact information is important.
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