At the club, I’m seeing both men who slap my cheeks or butt and choke me, and men who are endlessly gentle and affectionate, but for some reason I find myself wanting to see the former more.

Maezawa from the President’s Office here with an answer as well. > Are older men more likely to have sex like psychopaths? There are even men who will complain if you hit them lightly (though I suppose a complaint means violence here >＜), so I think it’s safe to assume they’re almost nonexistent. > After being made to feel pain, when he smiles and strokes my head, or says with a smile, “It hurts, doesn’t it? It’s hard, isn’t it? You’re cute,” right in the middle of being mean to me, my mind gets confused. > Have I gone crazy? Come to think of it, I’ve heard that some people who experience domestic violence become unable to leave because of that dynamic. It’s frightening...

I’m Tetsu, a male member. I’ve been seeing a woman very similar to the person asking for advice. That said, I’m not interested in “psychopathic sex.” I just want us both to enjoy ourselves. At first, I treated her gently and affectionately. But one day, I lightly slapped her butt and noticed her trembling with pleasure, so from then on I started trying various things just for fun. Now, if I put a collar on her and hold my penis out in front of her, she’ll take it into her mouth on her own. Once, I tied her hands with the cord from a yukata and lavished her with intense attention. She said that something inside her had broken at that moment. Apparently, she likes things that heighten her embarrassment. If I whisper dirty words in her ear, smell the nape of her neck, or lick her butt, she squirms while saying, “I’m so embarrassed.” I make her say embarrassing things against her will, and when she manages to say them, I praise her with, “You said it so well,” while stroking her head and holding her tightly. She absolutely loves it. We’ve talked about this kind of humiliation play, and she once told me, “There’s no way I could do this with anyone else.” It seems that being able to fulfill desires she can’t tell anyone else about gives her a sense of satisfaction. She says it’s completely different from the satisfaction she gets from ordinary sex involving caressing and penetration. Personally, I think there are quite a few women with this side to them. Maybe they simply haven’t realized it because, somewhere along the way, women tend to put on the brakes. So I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you at all.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I don’t think much of men who slap women on the cheek or choke them when the women haven’t said they want that. I believe—or rather, I want to believe—that such men are in the minority. On the other hand, quite a few women say they like being choked, or, in a milder sense, that they want to be toyed with however the man pleases. In my experience, among the women I’ve approached, it’s about one in ten. But women generally don’t talk about their preferences until they’ve become fairly close to someone, so among the women I’ve gotten close to, I’d say it’s more than one in two. I don’t personally have a preference for slapping or choking, so I do it when the woman wants me to. With women I genuinely like, there’s a noticeable difference between how aroused they become from ordinary foreplay, such as cunnilingus, and how aroused they become when I satisfy their preferences by slapping or choking them. It makes me think, “Wow, she really does like this.” > Mac “Young women haven’t said they wanted it” wasn’t the right wording. I’d like to correct that to “when the woman hasn’t given permission.” It’s true that one of the women who told me she wanted me to choke her realized it after her ex-boyfriend did it to her, while another realized it after a former casual sex partner did it. I didn’t get a chance to ask the other women what had initially awakened that preference in them. Without some kind of trigger, you don’t usually realize your own preferences. Whether out of curiosity or otherwise, it’s probably rare for a woman to ask to be choked right from the start.