She may have moved out of the apartment I let her use and isn’t coming back. Her belongings are stil...

Question

She may have moved out of the apartment I let her use and isn’t coming back. Her belongings are still there, but most of her clothes are gone. What should I do? She doesn’t reply to my LINE messages or calls, although they do connect. About five months ago, we apparently both contracted chlamydia. We had been intimate without protection, but I don’t know how it happened. We argued, and she insisted that I was the only person she had been with. After that, our relationship deteriorated. I admit it was my fault that I didn’t support her properly, but I was angry that she put all the blame on me. I also became suspicious that she might have secretly found another papa (a male supporter), or someone else. Still, I paid for her treatment. Later, she apparently found out from another examination that her fallopian tubes were blocked, and she blamed that on me too. However, blocked fallopian tubes wouldn’t happen so quickly after discovering chlamydia, so I didn’t think I needed to pay her medical bills for that, and I refused. She has an apartment provided by me and a steady job, so she should be able to cover those expenses herself. Is that what made her angry? I don’t understand why she had to leave. I’m feeling something close to anger. What do you think? P.S. If you’re reading this, reflect on the foolish thing you did and come back.

あや · Answer

I’m Aya, a female member.

I also live in my papa’s apartment, but if it were me, I’d lose interest the moment he gave me an infection. I’d start thinking, “This person is disgusting…” and wouldn’t be able to be intimate with him anymore. It breaks my heart to think about how much the other woman must have put up with.

前澤 · Answer

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here.

I don’t think any woman would read this and want to come back.

> I was angry that I was made solely responsible.

The moment you stop trusting the other person, it’s already over.

It probably really was all your questioner’s fault. Even so, the way you put it is awful. Anyone would assume there was never any trust between you to begin with.

I don’t understand why you would think someone would return to a person who doesn’t even trust them.

> I didn’t think I needed to pay the medical expenses related to that, so I didn’t.

That’s incredibly petty. I can’t understand why you wouldn’t pay them. Would paying those expenses really leave you unable to support yourself?

That was such a cruel thing to do that I can’t believe you genuinely cared about that woman.

> Reflect on your foolish actions and come back.

I wouldn’t want to return to someone who tells me to come back. Even if they groveled and apologized, I’d assume they would just do the same thing again. It was such terrible treatment that I wouldn’t want to go back.

> What do you think?

It’s the worst.

紙ひこうき · Answer

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.

I envy people who can argue with women...

Actually, no, that’s not quite right.

If you have a fight with someone in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—no, the moment you even think about picking a fight, or rather, the moment you start feeling dissatisfied, it’s probably already over… Hmm? Maybe that’s not it. Perhaps it’s over the moment you start feeling unfulfilled.

フラグメーカー · Answer

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.

The problem is that you don’t seem to understand there’s no way she’ll come back after receiving a message like that. You’ll probably repeat the same thing.  
Even if you meet another great woman, the moment you start complaining about this one, she’ll immediately lose interest and pull away. So don’t bring it up.

The issue isn’t who’s right or wrong. If you want her to come back, what you need is an apology and genuine remorse. On top of that, you’d have to be so devastated you look like you’re about to die and can’t even eat—at least to the point where she feels sorry for you. My gut feeling is that otherwise, getting as far as meeting again will be pretty tough.

I understand that you’re not convinced, but relationships between men and women don’t work on logic or being in the right. Especially with women, it’s about feelings.

Next time, be careful not to make her think, “There’s no point talking to him,” or leave without saying a word.

カズ · Answer

I’m Kazu, a male member.

You say, “It was my fault for not following up properly,” but of course she was going to leave.

To top it all off, you call it “the foolish thing I did,” while the person asking the question is blaming the woman entirely.

I agree with Marika: there’s no way she’d go back to a man like that.

茉莉花 · Answer

There’s no way I’m going back to a man who tells me to “come back” when things are like this.

Marika

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