If I give her money, does that make her less likely to leave me?
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She relies on me quite a lot emotionally,
but given my age, I can’t help feeling insecure.
She could easily get close to guys her own age,
after all—or she might secretly find someone who offers better support than I do.
I’m sure everyone is pretty good at keeping things hidden.
I catch myself thinking that even if she dates someone her own age, I still don’t want her to leave me.
I’m no longer young myself, so what kind of presence should I try to be in her life?
I always enjoy reading your posts. Thank you, and I would appreciate your advice.
I’ll answer as Maezawa from the president’s office.
> So she might secretly find someone who offers better support than I do.
If you’re worried, just offer more.
You might also ease your anxiety by listening more closely to what women have to say.
I feel that the lack of communication is what makes you worry.
Women who feel their allowance isn’t enough are probably sending signals, even if they don’t say it directly.
If you notice those signals properly, I think your anxiety will go away.
Of course, most of the time, you only realize it was a signal after she’s already left, so it’s not easy. But if you’re someone who tends to worry, you may be able to pick up on those signals.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Hmm… I feel like it’s actually the other way around.
If the woman you’re currently seeing relies on you emotionally, you should be more open-minded. Even if she gets a boyfriend, showing enough generosity to keep your jealousy in check and support her will leave a better impression.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I believe money can only buy someone’s feelings for a limited time. If you don’t give her what she needs, she’ll probably leave, but giving her extra money doesn’t necessarily make her less likely to leave.
For example, if a woman truly needs ¥200,000 a month and her papa (a male supporter) gives her that amount while making her feel comfortable, I don’t think she’ll leave. If she does, it’ll probably be because she’s decided to quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). On the other hand, just because a papa makes her feel stressed but gives her ¥300,000 a month doesn’t mean she’ll stay.
In short, I think you should aim to become the papa she feels most comfortable with. But feeling comfortable with someone is a matter of personal compatibility, so rather than trying to force it, I think you should look for someone you naturally click with. That’s what makes dating clubs so great—you can do that relatively easily.
We can’t become the same kind of person as a man her own age, and men her own age can’t become the kind of person we are. There’s no point worrying about men her own age.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Personally, I feel that a boyfriend my own age and a papa are two completely different things.
Of course, I’m grateful for the financial stability my papa provides. He also listens when I need advice about work or just want to vent, and he’s genuinely been a great help to me.
Maybe I’m looking for the sense of security and guidance that only someone older and more experienced in life can offer—things I can’t get from a boyfriend my own age.
On the other hand, without that, a relationship with an older man can feel tense rather than comforting, so it probably wouldn’t last long.
That said, I think a concern like yours only comes up when you’ve built a deep relationship with a woman, so overall, wouldn’t you say that’s a good sign?
I think it’s wonderful that you feel, “Even if you date someone your own age, I still don’t want you to leave me.”
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I’m Kamihikoki, a male member.
With that mindset, you don’t stand a chance.
If you think you’ll lose out to guys your own age, you’ll just become someone she has no reason to keep around.
There are so many things you can offer that guys her age simply can’t.
You need to be able to give money, but that doesn’t mean you necessarily have to.
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