I’m a female member in my late 20s. My profile, of course, lists my actual age, and I’ve also had an interview, so the men should know my correct age. However, I’m often told that I “look like a college student.” At the same time, once we talk, people say I seem my age.
Women and men around my age almost always think I look my actual age, so I assumed it was just flattery.
However, the other day someone told me, “You look like a college student, so it looks unnatural when you’re with me. I don’t really want to meet somewhere where people might see us.” It made me wonder whether some people genuinely think I look nearly five years younger than I am.
When I look in the mirror, my skin, makeup, and hair color all seem appropriate for my age, and I don’t feel like I stand out from those around me. Could this just be a polite way of turning me down?
I’m Aya, a female member.
I’ve noticed that older men often guess women’s ages younger than they really are. I’m also more likely to be seen as younger by older men than by men my own age.
Also, don’t you think a lot of men around the same age feel it would be rude to comment on a woman’s appearance? Whether someone looks young or old is a sensitive topic, so people around me rarely bring it up.
On the other hand, men who do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and choose partners mainly based on looks are more likely to discuss things like that in a private relationship, so perhaps that’s why women hear more comments about their appearance.
Personally, I’ve been conscious of anti-aging since I was 20 and have done various things for it, so I tend to think, “Well, of course I look young—I’ve put this much effort into it,” and stay oddly calm about it. Nothing people say really bothers me.
They definitely don’t mean it negatively, so I don’t think you need to worry about it. Once you’re around 30, just put some effort into anti-aging.
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I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this as well.
She may overlap with the image of a female college student that men in their 40s and older have in mind.
I don’t know whether it’s her clothes, hairstyle, or face itself, but there’s probably something about her that gives that impression.
That may have been what he liked about her, but after meeting her, perhaps she seemed too young-looking, and he felt embarrassed walking around with her.
> Is that just a polite way of turning me down?
I don’t think so at all.
“I don’t really want to meet somewhere with a lot of people around” sounds like he means he’d rather meet somewhere more private.
For example, he may prefer a private room at a restaurant, or want you to walk a little behind him when heading to a hotel.
He probably just wants to be affectionate indoors, while feeling self-conscious about being seen together outside.
You could say something like, “Would it be okay if I followed about five meters behind you?” That might be enough.
You could also reserve a restaurant with private rooms and suggest meeting inside.
If it’s a city hotel, you could simply head to the room separately after dinner.
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It’s Seattle.
That’s just a compliment.
He’s an awkward man who isn’t good with words and can’t compliment people very well. Just brush it off casually.
“Oh my, aren’t you good at this?”
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