Negotiating the allowance for a monthly arrangement. I brought this up once with a papa a few months ago, and his terms were going without protection and getting an STI test. I didn’t agree to that at the time, so we continued seeing each other with protection and no testing. However, I realized that he sometimes has trouble when using condoms, and I want a stable allowance, so I suggested a monthly arrangement in exchange for taking birth control and getting tested.

I’m Aya, a female member. At this point, I think it’s best to leave it up to the other person. Even if you ask for more than the papa (a male supporter) originally had in mind and he agrees, a man who is stretching himself financially will gradually become emotionally unstable and the arrangement probably won’t last. He may become more controlling, start making more demands, or make snide remarks. So I think you should have the papa honestly tell you how much he can afford, and then decide whether that amount is worth it for you. Since he’s asking for very demanding terms, you don’t need to undersell yourself or force yourself to accept a low allowance.

I’m Kazu, a male member. He sounds like a pretty unpleasant guy, constantly raising the bar with one strange excuse after another. If it bothers him that much, he should simply not pursue a relationship or ask for sex without condoms. Ultimately, it comes down to how much the questioner feels she should be paid in exchange for being restricted by someone she isn’t even married to. If it’s 100,000 yen per month, wouldn’t 50,000 yen per meeting be fair? And if it’s 50,000 yen per month, then perhaps 25,000 yen per meeting. I believe putting restrictions on someone else’s life comes at a price. That said, I liked the questioner because she seems to approach things on the assumption that promises should be kept. I dislike liars. For example, if a woman agreed to meet me about twice a month for 10,000 yen per meeting, get tested regularly, take the pill, and not sleep with other men based on my preferences, I’d think that arrangement was far too convenient and assume she had started lying. As an aside, personally, I’m not sure such restrictions are appropriate even between married couples.

I’m a male member who goes by “Paper Airplane.” I don’t really understand why you’d agree to those terms and only meet about twice a month. Why not try saying you’d like to meet six times a month? Meeting twice a month isn’t really a relationship—it’s just seeing each other. P.S. If she says she’s struggling financially, I might suggest tripling the number of meetings… But if she asks me to increase the allowance, I just ignore it.