I’m the person who asked about negotiating the allowance. Thank you for your answers.
This content is machine-translated.
https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/6514
The reason I started thinking this way was that one man got drunk and said, “I was actually planning to offer ○, but since you said □, I got away with paying less.” It made me feel uneasy, as though he was seeing me because I was cheap.
Since then, whenever a man asks me how much I want, I’ve been replying, “Why don’t you tell me what you’re hoping to offer first?” However, one man said, “Don’t try to size me up like that—just tell me what you want.” That made me realize that men can feel as though they’re being evaluated for their worth, just as I felt. (In the end, our allowance budgets didn’t match, so we parted ways after dinner.)
Is this the feeling Flag Maker was referring to when they said:
> “The feeling that I’m being bought”?
As Kazu-san said, I don’t think either men or women often fall in love on the first date. However, from the moment someone makes an offer and wants to go as far as a hotel, maybe they’ve already developed a certain liking within the context of a dating club. Of course, physical compatibility and other factors can cool things off and prevent things from continuing, but…
>I mean that I’d like women to state their honest feelings first, without being influenced by the allowance they want to receive.
It seems I wasn’t capable of thinking about it so straightforwardly.
When Paper Airplane said:
> “I’ll leave it up to you,”
I realized that I didn’t want to say that either—which probably means I’m buying men, too, in my own way.
It seems I hadn’t thought things through properly. This has been a learning experience. Thank you.
I’m Taro, a male member.
Sorry for the late response, even though you mentioned my name. I’m usually online at night, so if you’d like to hear from me, it would help if you asked your question in the evening.
I think everyone’s already answered and reached a conclusion, so I’ll just complain and leave it at that. I could’ve shared some really useful information, though（笑).
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
No, that’s not it. It’s more like I go into every date feeling, “I’m being bought. I’m being judged by my worth.” I’m basically just fighting an imaginary battle on my own, lol.
Before a date, I walk to the meeting place feeling like I’m radiating an aura—like Goku as a Super Saiyan or Gon after his forced transformation.
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I’m Kazu, one of the male members.
> However, the moment you make an offer and want to go to a hotel, doesn’t that mean you’ve already developed feelings for her, at least in the context of a dating club?
Speaking only for myself, even when I want to go to a hotel, it doesn’t mean I like her yet—not even in the dating-club sense. To put my feelings into words, it’s more like, “I might come to like her in that context.” That’s why I wrote that there was potential, but I still didn’t know.
For me, liking someone in the dating-club sense means wanting to see her again even after meeting three or more times. Compatibility in bed is also an important factor in developing those feelings, so when you haven’t even slept together yet, I don’t think you can really say you like or dislike her.
> I heard one man get drunk and say, “I was actually going to offer ○, but since you said □, it ended up being cheaper for me.”
I’m not sure it’s appropriate to judge the entire relationship based on one careless remark from that man.
> “Don’t try to take advantage of my situation like that—tell me what you want.”
That’s also just one man making a careless remark.
If asking about someone’s preferences is considered taking advantage of their situation, then that man asking about your preferences would also qualify（笑）.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
I can almost hear Masaki Suda singing, “I’ll stay by your side forever.”
I hope that, after meeting and seeing a few people, you’ll eventually find someone who makes you feel that way.
After being involved in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for a while—or at least long enough to develop a discerning eye—I hope you’ll have a wonderful encounter that makes both you and the other person realize, “It wasn’t really about the money after all.”
The fact that you’re so concerned about the allowance right now makes me suspect that you’re also dealing with a lot of things that require patience, as well as situations that aren’t going the way you hoped. I believe those experiences will eventually make the contrast stand out all the more when you have a truly meaningful encounter.
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