I’m a female member in my twenties.

I’m Aya, a female member. In my case, I make sure never to name my desired amount myself. Even if I have a figure in mind, when I’m asked specifically how much I’d like, I act as though I don’t know and say, “I’ll leave it up to you.” I make every effort to entertain him, then leave it up to him to decide what that’s worth. When I take that approach, as long as the relationship continues, I feel the allowance tends to gradually increase as we grow closer—it never really goes down. I think that when a man sees that you’re genuinely trying your best to make him happy and enjoy your time together, he naturally wants to respond in kind.

I’m Flag Maker, a columnist. I usually go with whatever amount the woman names, or, if she doesn’t name one, I start at 50,000 yen. That said, I don’t set the allowance or the terms of the arrangement too rigidly. When I have plenty of leeway, I’ll sometimes give 100,000 yen per meeting on my own. I may also give 100,000 yen per meeting during what I consider a bonus month. On the other hand, when money is tight, I might say, “Things are a little rough this month, so could we do 30,000 yen?” In the end, though, I’ll make it up by adding the missing 20,000 yen later. I don’t set the nature of the relationship in stone either, and I don’t negotiate over the allowance or the terms. In fact, I don’t bring it up much myself, even on the first date. With women in the C-type or similar category, I’ll ask toward the end of the date, “Are you okay for what comes next? Do you have any preferences?” But quite often they’ll say, “Wait, I thought there wasn’t going to be anything today!” Come on—I’ve got two little envelopes ready for you, haha. With B-type women, I don’t discuss terms on the first date. I’ll usually bring it up over LINE before the second date. I’m a man, but if anything, I feel the same way as the person asking the question: I feel like I’m the one being bought.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. So far, I haven’t continued seeing a single woman who gave me a specific amount she wanted—whether it was high or low. I think saying “I’ll leave it up to you,” or simply saying you can’t answer, are both perfectly acceptable responses. Once a man has found a special favorite, he can’t give another woman a higher allowance than hers, so he won’t continue seeing anyone whose terms exceed that amount. He might go out with her once or twice, but it won’t become an ongoing arrangement. If he hasn’t settled on a special favorite yet, his standard amount hasn’t been fixed either, so I imagine it may fluctuate. > I want to see how a woman views money. The way a woman answers reveals a lot about her attitude toward allowances and papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), as well as her experience and history with it, so her response is very important. That’s why online dates were useful—you could read her true feelings while watching her expressions, and sometimes avoid meeting in person altogether. But… > I give money to help the woman I love. I think men give money because they themselves are receiving something from the relationship. When you’re the one willing to pay just to meet a woman, saying you’re doing it to “help” her can come across as a little presumptuous and condescending. I’d rather say, “You’ve always been there for me, so thank you. I’m happy to support you.” I’m also deeply grateful to everyone involved—the club, the staff, and the people who share their answers. Helping the woman you love is something that can be built privately, outside of papa-katsu. And even within a club, I believe miracles can happen—meeting someone with whom you build a lifelong relationship that eventually goes beyond the private sphere. If the relationship grows beyond that private sphere, it may become the kind of lasting relationship Taro-san describes: giving money to help the woman you love, supporting each other, and being able to say what you truly feel.

I’m Kazu, a male member. Thanks for the interesting question. Regarding Taro’s comment about “giving money to support a woman you like,” I agree with it about 70–80%. With that in mind, here’s my answer. Allowance negotiations usually take place on the first date. At that point, she isn’t yet “a woman I like.” There may be potential for me to develop feelings for her, but honestly, I don’t know yet. After that, to borrow Taro’s wording from another answer, I think some kind of story unfolds and I gradually come to like her. I usually ask the woman what she hopes for first. It’s not at all because I’m trying to assess her value. Rather, I want to hear her honest thoughts without influencing her by stating my own preferred allowance first. I’m not trying to get the lowest amount possible. In fact, even if she says three, I’ll still offer the amount I’ve already decided on. I ask simply because I want her to tell me honestly what she thinks. If you’d prefer the man to state his own preferred amount, you can just refrain from naming yours and ask, “What amount were you hoping for?”