A lot of men ask for my real name right away, sometimes on the day we first meet. Why ask when I specifically have a club name?
It honestly makes me feel uncomfortable when they call me casually by my real name without any honorific.
I understand if they want to view it as a pseudo-romantic relationship, but I don’t understand why they need to ask for my real name when I already have an alias. I’m doing this for the money—I’m not looking to date some older man.
I’m Taro, a male member.
Personally, I’m happy when someone tells me her real name. It makes me feel emotionally closer to her. I don’t ask at the first meeting, but if we’ve met a few times and I feel I’d like to continue seeing her, I’ll usually ask—and she’ll tell me.
Simply put, it’s a filter for identifying girls whose attitude is like the questioner’s.
So you don’t need to change anything about yourself. If someone asks you that, just flag him as an annoying customer who isn’t compatible with your approach, and don’t see him again. You’ll probably both be happier since you won’t waste each other’s time.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Maybe men like that are still stuck in an older way of thinking. They may belong to a generation that hasn’t experienced firsthand the risk of how easily everything can be found online with a simple search.
So I imagine they innocently think, “We’re getting closer, so tell me your name!”
If he’s asking innocently, you can simply give him another alias, and he’ll probably believe you without question. I hope you’re able to make good money.
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I’m Hikoki, a male member.
> I don’t understand why you need to ask for someone’s real name.
Exactly.
Since my LINE account uses my real name, girls often tell me theirs right away, but I try not to remember their last names whenever possible.
If a girl ends up using the service I run, I’ll naturally learn her real name, but even then, I try not to remember it.
Knowing it offers no benefit anyway.
So I don’t think there’s any need at all for men—or women, for that matter—to ask for someone’s real name.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Work is stressful—that’s just how it is. You chose it yourself, so there’s no point getting irritated about it.
In your case, you haven’t fully embraced the transactional nature of it. Try to detach yourself even more, to the point where little things like that don’t bother you. Let it go and move on.
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Wouldn’t it solve the problem to give your real name along with a second, fake name?
Use your initials on LINE, then come up with a fake name that matches them. If you’re treating this as a transactional relationship for the money, use your head instead of getting grossed out.
—Marika
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I'm Kazu, a male member.
I suspect men who ask for your real name are trying to look you up online. Creepy.
By the way, there are women who ask for your real name too.
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