He said he’d pay my moving expenses, so I moved—but then he didn’t pay.
This content is machine-translated.
When I told a papa I’m close with that I wanted to move closer to my workplace, he said, “I’ll cover all the expenses for you.”
At first, I was skeptical and tried to brush it off, but every time we met he kept asking, “Have you found a place yet?” and saying, “I’ll pay for it, so don’t worry.” So I decided to move.
However, when I actually showed him the estimate, he just handed me ¥30,000 and said, “Here, use this to buy some appliances,” and that was the end of it.
When I say moving expenses, I’m not talking about millions of yen—just a few hundred thousand. The rent is also affordable on my salary, so I thought the total cost would be lower than average.
In the end, I had to dip into my savings and use a credit card loan to pay for everything.
If I’d known this would happen, I wouldn’t have moved in the first place. I don’t understand why he lied to me like that. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil, yet he’s already made plans to see me again as if nothing happened.
I want to cut him off, but I’ve only recently started papa-katsu and don’t have any other regular papas, so I can’t bring myself to do it.
Do you think I should bring up the moving expenses with him again?
Yokoyama from the staff team here as well.
As everyone has said, I honestly think it would be difficult, even if you discussed it with him again. Since he has already lied to you once, I don’t think I’d be able to trust him going forward—and I think it would only leave you feeling exhausted.
I hope you find a wonderful papa (a male supporter)...
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Aya, a female member.
That sounds like quite an ordeal… I’m guessing you’re new to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)? There are all kinds of men out there…
> At first, I was skeptical, so I kept brushing it off. But every time we met, he’d ask, “Have you found a place yet?” and say, “Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it,” so I decided to move.
In that case, I’d say the man is about 60% at fault.
From now on, it’s probably best not to go along with such offers unless you have solid confirmation that you’ll actually receive the money.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Hikouki, a male member.
Both sides are at fault.
You weren’t close enough to even properly discuss the details, were you? You simply had a relationship where you couldn’t communicate, so getting that angry is just absurd.
With that kind of mindset, even if this hadn’t happened—or even if it were another man—you’d quickly make him lose interest in you.
Also, from a man’s perspective, a woman who, early in a relationship, can casually accept several hundred thousand yen—or expect him to cover all her moving expenses—is the worst kind of money monster. He may have seen through you. Men aren’t stupid either; they learn as they gain experience…
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
You’ve learned a lot from this, haven’t you?
You’d only just started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so it was a little hasty to assume he was a papa you were close with.
And it was also hasty to believe what he said just because he promised you several hundred thousand yen.
If he wasn’t going to pay, you should have canceled your move.
I’m worried that you may be vulnerable to scams. That said, if that man had no intention of giving you several hundred thousand yen, he shouldn’t have said things that gave you false hope.
You probably don’t want to continue seeing someone who makes you feel so furious, so why not end things with him?
It would have been better to say this when he gave you 30,000 yen, but since you’re planning to break things off, perhaps you could tell him, “You said you would cover the entire cost of my move, didn’t you?”
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from the President’s Office here.
>Do you think I should bring up the moving expenses one more time?
I don’t think it would do any good. If you already discussed it once and he still didn’t pay, he probably has no intention of paying.
Even if he’s your only papa (a male supporter), I wouldn’t recommend meeting someone that awful again.
I think it’s okay to put your pride first here. If you continue seeing him, I’m afraid it will wear you down mentally. Men like this will keep doing the same thing in the future.
It’ll hurt you emotionally each time. If he were giving you 100,000 yen per meeting, you might consider putting up with it, but I doubt someone who only gave you 30,000 yen toward your moving expenses would ever pay that much.
I think you should contact him and decline the next meeting.
He’ll probably ask why, so you could say something like:
“I found it difficult to continue seeing someone who went back on his promise to pay 300,000 yen toward my moving expenses.”
It’s unbelievable that there are men this awful.
From now on, I think it’s better not to trust promises to pay later—only trust offers where they pay you upfront.
I feel the same way about a monthly arrangement. If they won’t pay you upfront, it’s probably better to keep things pay-per-meeting.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
You shouldn’t trust what men say. A papa (a male supporter) who’s genuinely willing to pay should be willing to pay upfront.
It’s best to treat future-tense promises like “Once you do that…” or “Let’s do ___ next time” as nothing more than small talk. You can trust a papa who follows through on what he says.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
