I was reading an earlier question. The women never tell me they want to see me, and it’s depressing. I’m always pretty desperate when I ask them out for a second date or beyond. Sometimes they don’t even get back to me.

I’m Aya, a female member. When I’m seeing a papa I’m really close to, it naturally becomes a conversation about when we should meet next, and I’ll often be the one to say, “I want to see you!” But I think many women find it difficult to take the initiative with a papa they’re not that close to yet. There’s still a strong expectation that women should be passive, along with a dating-club-specific stigma that makes it embarrassing to seem like you’re asking for money. So until you become closer, I think it’s perfectly fine for you to take the initiative and invite her out.

I’m Flagmaker, a columnist. Blaming others for the cause won’t solve anything. First, thoroughly work on the areas you can improve yourself. Only then should you ask others to change. Though once you’ve improved yourself, you probably won’t feel the need to ask that of others anymore.

I’m Kamihikoki, a male member. The key is to enjoy a fun, spontaneous date on the first meeting. Your class—and even the allowance—doesn’t matter.

Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here. Women may also hesitate to reach out first because they worry they’ll be seen as only interested in money. So I think it’s best to assume that it’s normal for a woman not to contact you first. If you want to change that, you could: 1. Give her a little more allowance than she asked for. 2. Tell her, “If you ever run short of money, feel free to contact me anytime. It may be difficult if our schedules don’t line up, but even if it’s the day after tomorrow, that’s fine. I’ll help out as much as I can.” That should make it easier for her to contact you. You could also try making her feel that spending time with you is fun, or think about what you can do to make her like you. The fact that you’re already thinking of her in such a self-centered way gives off the impression that she’s thinking, “I don’t want to see this man.”

I’m Kazu, a male member. In my case, it was a woman in the Black class whom I had grown close to. Many women feel that it’s improper for a woman to make the first move. Since this is a relationship where she receives an allowance to meet, I think many women feel even more hesitant to initiate things. Looking at it another way, it can feel like saying, “Give me money,” so it probably takes some resolve for a woman to bring it up herself. It’s important to create an atmosphere where she feels reassured that you like her and would be receptive if she made that kind of request. I don’t think her class has anything to do with it. One more thing: Some women don’t send a thank-you message after the first date. I’d say it’s roughly one in ten. This probably has nothing to do with their class either—it’s simply a matter of whether they’re the type to keep in touch regularly. I prefer women who make an effort to stay in touch, so if a woman doesn’t message me after we part ways following the first date, I usually don’t feel much like seeing her again. That said, if I really want to meet her again, I’ll message her myself. Another addition: Maezawa-san, I usually tell them, “Feel free to contact me anytime if you run short of money. It might be difficult when our schedules don’t line up, but even the day after tomorrow would be fine. I’ll do my best to help.” I say this to women I like after we’ve met around three times. Usually, it comes up naturally when I ask how much they’d like to receive each month, so we can figure out how often to meet. Depending on her personality and circumstances, I sometimes tell her that even contacting me on the same day is fine. And one more thing: Come to think of it, women in the Gold and Platinum classes have said the same thing to me as well. So yes, I really don’t think it has anything to do with their class.