Taro said that if you want a relationship to last, it’s pretty important not to bottle up the little things and to communicate…

I’m Taro, a male member. Since I was specifically asked, I got carried away and wrote a long answer（笑） Ideally, you should be able to talk about anything. Everyone has the right to live as themselves, and Google statistically proved about seven or eight years ago that the environment where things work best is one in which people can say what they really think without forcing themselves to endure things, and feel safe doing so. This is part of a global ideological evolution, and it runs counter to old-fashioned values like Kyoto’s “bubuzuke” culture or ideas about what a mistress is supposed to be like. Recent harassment allegations and the MeToo movement are all part of the same trend. That said, even among people who hold traditional values, long-married elderly couples and Ginza club mamas, for example, can actually be very candid and say exactly what they think. So I suspect the right answer may have always been the same, even under the old values. The real question is how to communicate that way, right? Communication varies depending on people’s personalities and circumstances, so there’s no foolproof method. But I’ll share a few things that might be helpful. First, human beings are emotional creatures. We may come up with all kinds of rational explanations, but most of the time we make judgments based on things like “like or dislike” and “friend or foe.” So if you want things to go smoothly, trying to win an argument is the worst choice. Even if you win logically, the other person may resent you emotionally（笑）. Especially when you have to say something they won’t want to hear, it’s better to keep a soft, friendly tone and prioritize wording and behavior that won’t make them label you as an enemy—things like, “Oh, you’re always doing that!” or “Aw, come on, give me a break.” Second, don’t let the other person take complete control of the pace. Even in a sports match, you can’t win if your opponent has all the momentum. If you simply resign yourself to letting them take control, the situation becomes 0–10, and they can do whatever they want, bringing out their less pleasant side and making things really tough. Since this is a relationship where you receive money, I think it’s fine for the other person to have the upper hand—but don’t let it become 0–10. Keep it at least around 1–9 or 2–9. If they try to wrap things up on their terms, throw them off before they can get started. These kinds of little negotiations and maneuvers are quite important. Third, have options. If you’re in a situation where you have no choice but to depend on that person, your room to negotiate naturally becomes narrower, and you’ll feel cornered if they come on too strong. If you have other candidates and feel that losing this person wouldn’t be the end of the world, you’ll be able to play a stronger card. Of course, you should make an effort to get more offers, but it might also be useful to keep a man you met but didn’t find particularly impressive in reserve—occasionally staying in touch over a meal, without receiving an allowance, for example. I hope this helps. Hang in there. You’ve already made progress simply by being able to clearly put your own question into words.

I’m Aya, a female member. I’ll say pretty much anything except “Please give me more money.” As I’ve mentioned before, asking for money makes me feel kind of pathetic, and I think it would make the other person uncomfortable too, so I can’t bring myself to say it. That’s why the only papas I’m still seeing are those who: - provide support appropriate for our relationship without me having to ask, and - make it easy for me to voice small complaints. By “small complaints,” I mean things like, “I’m not feeling well today,” “I feel lonely,” “Your snoring is loud,” “Pay more attention to me,” “I’m not hungry, so I don’t need dinner,” or “I’m sleepy”—really trivial things like that. Just like with a regular boyfriend or girlfriend, I think relationships last longer when you can easily communicate even minor complaints. I hope your relationship with your papa lasts a long time too.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. If you want to keep things smooth, it’s best to stick to harmless, neutral topics. But if you’re hoping for a long-term relationship, you’ll probably end up feeling stressed unless she’s someone who understands you even when you speak your mind. If you think you’d like to stay with her for the long term, it’s probably best to gradually let her see more of your true self.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. Holding things in isn’t good. If you could say whatever you’re thinking without having to hold back, women would probably enjoy themselves more and shine even brighter. But unless you’re perfectly compatible—completely satisfied with each other, constantly praising and appreciating one another—it’s not that simple. In the end, it all comes down to compatibility. Do you usually only say things like “thank you” and “delicious”—words of affirmation? That gets a little tiring, doesn’t it? Try letting your true feelings slip out once in a while. Even if you can’t do that yet, I hope you meet someone you can be that open with. > What kinds of things specifically is it okay to talk about? I think papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) works because men are drawn to women enjoying themselves without stress—both emotionally and physically—and being happy. So if there’s something that would make you enjoy yourself more, feel better, or feel happier, I think you should feel free to say it all. You don’t need to feel stressed about that sort of thing. The man is there to treat the woman and make her happy, so there’s no need to hold back. That said, anything overly money-focused is off-limits. Though if you have a papa (a male supporter) who really knows how to make you happy, you probably wouldn’t even feel like saying those things. Of course, for that to happen, it’s not enough simply for the man to treat you well. It’s also essential that he gives you a sense of security and trust—that he genuinely likes you, is attracted to you, and is satisfied with being with you.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I’d like you to tell me things like what you want to eat, what feels good, or what you’d rather I not do. And if it’s only a few thousand yen, please don’t be shy about saying things like, “I want to eat this” or “I want to do that.” On the other hand, I imagine it would be a hassle if you said things like, “Buy this for me,” “Put the toilet seat down,” or “Turn off the light you left on.” None of those have actually been said to me, though.