I’m involved in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because I enjoy saving money, but my papas think I’m poor.
I grew up in a wealthy family, so I own a few high-end bags and accessories that my parents bought for me. However, I worry that it might come across badly if I carry them in front of my papas, so I only wear inexpensive things on every date. I’d really like to dress more stylishly, though…
From a man’s perspective, wouldn’t he wonder, “If she has money, why is she doing this?”
Do men generally become less willing to spend money on a woman if she wears high-end brands?
I’m Saito, a columnist♪
Having money doesn’t necessarily mean owning designer brands.
I don’t even wear a watch, and a Prius is easier for getting around, so from the outside, I might look more like I’m struggling financially.
On the other hand, people driving Maseratis or Ferraris can be more trouble. On the highway, the road gradually clears out, so you feel like you have to keep overtaking. If you drive slowly, people stare when they pass you. You have to be picky about where you park, and the i8 is even worse.
Above all, you risk being recognized.
Being wealthy doesn’t automatically mean being flashy.
By the way, more of the women I meet through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) have become business owners lately. Some rent an entire floor of an apartment building to run their businesses, and there are quite a few earning over 10 million yen a year.
The woman I’ve met through papa-katsu with the highest business income earns 60 million yen a year.
There’s no longer any financial or physical relationship between us, but we often go out for meals.
It feels more like we’re comrades-in-arms.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
My family is fairly well-off—or rather, my parents have prestigious careers—so I’m not poor. But I enjoy saving money, which is why I do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Sounds like we’re alike.
Once I get close to a papa (a male supporter), my family background tends to come up naturally, but being well-off hasn’t worked against me.
If anything, because I don’t flaunt it, they simply see me as “a girl from a respectable family,” which is a plus when it comes to dating. It also keeps strange men who are only after sexual exploitation away.
I think it’s best to avoid carrying designer bags whenever possible.
Someone who runs a high-end lounge in Roppongi once told me that when they see a woman in her 20s carrying a luxury designer bag, they assume, “She probably has a papa or used to work in nightlife.”
Even if ordinary men don’t think that far, many men don’t have a favorable impression of women who love brand-name goods.
That’s why I hardly own any designer items myself. It’s not that I particularly want them, but when I live that way, my papas occasionally give me lovely gifts, saying, “For your first designer item,” and I gratefully accept them.
In papa-katsu, I think it’s best not to give the impression that you’re driven by desires other than sex as much as possible.
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Yokoyama from the staff here as well.
If I were a member and saw someone dressed head to toe in high-end brands, I’d honestly think, “She looks expensive to keep.” I probably wouldn’t expect it to turn into a long-term arrangement, and I’d assume she already has another papa (a male supporter).
If things are working well for you now, it may be best to leave them as they are… though I’m sure some men wouldn’t mind.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
It doesn’t really matter whether someone has money or not. What matters more is whether you’re compatible and whether you like each other.
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer as well.
> “I’d really like to dress more stylishly, though…”
I think it’s perfectly natural for people who enjoy saving money to still want to dress nicely, but I haven’t heard many say they specifically want to wear designer brands.
I think most people would rather save that money instead.
With that in mind, it seems that while you’ve convinced yourself that saving money is your hobby, what you really want is to buy designer items—and saving is simply necessary to afford them.
> “Do men become less willing to spend money on a woman if she wears high-end designer brands?”
Rather than becoming less willing to spend money, I think they may wonder whether you have another papa (a male supporter).
If you’re wealthy, I think it’s better to be upfront about it from the start. There’s nothing wrong with an independent woman doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
In the end, I think it depends on your own appeal.
If your parents are wealthy but you don’t earn much yourself, mentioning that should make it clear that your parents bought those things for you.
You may be overthinking things a little.
> “If you have money, why are you doing this?”
That’s a perfectly reasonable question for people to have.
If you like H, then saying you do it because you like H is enough.
But if they ask, “Then would you do it for free?”—of course not. I may like H, but my pride won’t let me receive nothing when other people are getting paid.
In fact, I consider my allowance a reflection of my own value, so I’m interested in how much Mr. or Ms. XX would be willing to give me.
That’s perfectly fine too.
You can simply say that you want to save even more money.
I don’t know how much you’ve saved so far, but you could say something like, “I want to save 100 million yen.”
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I make a point of not wearing my ROLEX on the first date, for some reason (lol).
Most people can more or less tell from my profile anyway, so I’m sure they know I’m not struggling financially. But still, I don’t know—just because.
From the second date onward, I’ve usually revealed more about myself, so I just go as I am.
That said, I’ve never really been interested in designer bags or clothes. Even from a long time ago, I’ve always worn things I liked and that suited me, rather than expensive or trendy clothes.
As you get older, apparently even large Swarovski crystal earrings can look like big diamonds, so it’s quite a bargain.
People ask me, “Why are you even on a dating club? You’re not doing this for the money, are you?”
There’s no one who skimps on or refuses to give me an allowance—well, only occasionally (lol).
They assume on their own that I must really like intimacy, and get excited about it, which is fun in its own way.
Marika
> If you like intimacy, then I think it’s fine to say that’s why you do it.
> But if they then ask, “So would you do it for free?”—of course not.
> I may like intimacy, but my pride won’t allow me to receive nothing when other people are getting paid.
> In fact, I consider my allowance to be a reflection of my own worth, so I’m curious to see how much Mr. ○○ would give me.
>
> Maezawa, this is incredibly helpful! Thank you.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think any reason is fine as long as it isn’t “to spoil a man.” I’d want to avoid women in that situation because they probably wouldn’t be very interested in me—or in other men.
There are actually quite a few women who come from well-off families. Any decent parent wouldn’t just shower their child with spending money, and the thickness of a parent’s wallet isn’t the same as how much money their child can freely use, right?
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I’m a male member, Papercraft.
I prefer women who have money rather than those who don’t, but I’m not a fan of women covered in multiple high-end designer brands.
Whether I want to spend money on someone depends on how well we click, so it’s hardly influenced by how much money she has or whether she wears luxury brands.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
I assume they continue because they need the money, so whether it’s “poverty” or “greed,” it amounts to the same thing to me.
That said, the heartwarming story of “helping women struggling with poverty” is effective from a marketing standpoint, so I think it’s best to go with that angle at first. Once you’ve found a papa (a male supporter) who’s willing to stick around long-term, you can reveal what’s really going on behind the scenes when the time feels right. Then you’ll be able to spend time together more comfortably without having to put on an act.
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