I work part-time during the day and live with my family. I don't have a boyfriend—or even any male friends. (It gets lonely.)
People tell me I'm probably attractive. I'm often mistaken for being mixed-race, and whenever I enter beauty pageants, I pass the initial screening.
However, my upbringing was far from normal. Our house has become a hoarder's home because of all the trash my brother has piled up. He also has a habit of getting into debt.
I'm probably not normal either. I've spent my whole life suppressing the parts of myself that aren't normal. Even now, I work hard, enter beauty pageants, and have a daytime part-time job.
But sometimes I wonder if it's okay to set myself free through something like a dating club. I feel like money is everything.
Is my way of thinking strange?
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Carrying something with you for a long time isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
The energy it gives you can be far greater than anything you’d expect from a peaceful, ordinary life. I believe it’s possible for your strong feelings toward your brother to remain with you throughout your life.
If you channel that energy into the things you’re working on, I think you’ll be able to keep moving forward with strength.
And whether it’s a papa (a male supporter) or anyone else, there are people who can understand you. Many people have experienced all kinds of family circumstances themselves.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
Yes, I think you should join a dating club. If you don’t have a partner, there’s no need to feel guilty about it, and if you’re good-looking, you’ll probably receive offers. Saying that money is everything would be an exaggeration, but having money gives you more options. It can help you live the life you want instead of being constrained by someone else.
You say you’re not “normal,” yet you also say you want to free yourself through a dating club, so perhaps there’s something sexually unconventional about you. Even so, dating clubs have all kinds of people, so I’m sure you’ll find someone who suits you. There are also various specialists among the people answering here, so after joining, you could even ask the club staff to put you in touch with someone if you’d like.
Of course, things may not always go as planned. But if your decision is based on the circumstances and feelings you described, I’m sure you’ll be able to push through. Living honestly and staying true to yourself is actually very easy—and a lot of fun. Even when it’s painful, it’s still enjoyable because you’re being true to yourself. Let’s spread our wings and take off. I’m rooting for you.
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I’m a male member, BB7.
What does “normal” even mean?
What does “freedom” mean?
What does it mean to be true to yourself?
I’m not entirely sure what you’re trying to say, but regardless of whether you’re “normal” or not, you’re the one who gets to decide how to live your own life.
If you believe money is everything, then live that way. Even if all 100 people say it’s not normal, if that’s what you truly believe, then you should live accordingly.
Other people aren’t you, so their approval is meaningless.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
What do you mean? People tend to assign their own meaning to things that happen. More than that, we even attach meaning to things we haven’t done yet.
I believe life is simply a cycle of choices and consequences. Sometimes the outcome is good, and sometimes it’s bad—that’s only natural. I think we read far too much into it.
Thinking that you’re not normal but are still behaving normally is something that exists only in your own head. It’s not necessarily harming anyone else, so if you feel like trying something, I think it’s fine to give it a shot.
If you train yourself to look at things objectively, you can even turn painful experiences into something you can laugh about.
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Since you realize that you’re not exactly conventional, you’re far more grounded than people in the same situation who ask, “I’m normal, right?”
I’m no paragon of normality either—I’m old enough to know better, yet here I am answering questions on a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) site.
I’m sure you’re probably beautiful. But it would be a real turnoff if your home were a hoarder’s house. If you can maintain normal relationships with people, you might meet an ideal papa (a male supporter).
Be especially cautious of anyone who says, “I’ll rent you an apartment right away, so move out.” You might end up being kept by someone who isn’t all that great.
Save money little by little, live on your own in an apartment or condo within your means, and then spread your wings from there.
There’s something nice about it—it feels like you have a dream.
Marika
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I think it’s okay to live honestly and stay true to yourself. After going through a terrible experience myself, I lost the “normal” sense of right and wrong you mentioned, and started cheerfully taking money from men through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
But thanks to that, my past wounds have healed, I’ve saved money, and my dreams have come true. I’m very fulfilled now. Why not treat papa-katsu as simply a means to an end and pursue your dreams?
Having few friends may even be appealing to men, since you can prioritize them over your female friends. So make the most of your strengths and try something new. I’m rooting for you.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
No, I don’t think it’s that strange. Money is a useful tool that can solve most problems.
I think you should join a dating club, receive your allowance, and move out as soon as possible. Rather than betting on a long shot in a beauty pageant, I think it would be better to steadily receive allowances through a dating club and improve your circumstances.
One piece of advice: chasing money too relentlessly won’t make you happy. At the end of the day, it’s only a tool. Tools are meant to be used—not to use you. It’s best not to want too much.
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