Men at the club often ask me to take a break from the site or withdraw completely.
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Honestly, isn't that bad value for money?
After all, I'm at my prime as a woman right now.
Women are attractive to men at different ages, depending on the individual, and there are also ages when they are less appealing.
Even so, I don't understand how asking me to focus exclusively on one man benefits me.
I would appreciate any advice on how to handle these requests tactfully.
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
The guys who insist that you commit to just them are often the very ones hitting on multiple women themselves. You don’t need to pay any attention to what they say.
If he’s really insisting, ask for a generous allowance. As you said, you’d be sacrificing valuable time in which you could be enjoying your appeal as a woman, so the allowance should be enough to make that sacrifice worthwhile. Any man who refuses is showing that he simply doesn’t value you that much.
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I’m a male member, BB7.
Honestly, if you tell them, “I need ¥〇〇, and I don’t want to date just one person—I want to see multiple men,” I think only the men who are okay with that will stick around.
Rather than both sides lying to each other, saying there aren’t any other men and then getting caught and causing problems, wouldn’t it be better for everyone to date men who are fine with seeing multiple people from the start?
And if the man is also dating multiple women, then you’re even. A guy who insists that you only see him sounds like a hassle.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
If she says, “I want you to focus exclusively on me,” wouldn’t it be fine to reply:
“Of course—that’s exactly what I intend to do!”
Since it’s what you “intend” to do, it’s not technically a lie.
Tens of thousands of salespeople across Japan tell customers things like this every day, after all.
Just everyday business, haha.
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I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
Not that I’m Yuji Oda, but why not go all in and think:
“Request for a leave of absence—here we gooooo!!”
Wouldn’t it be fun to see it that way?
“Really?! I’m so happy! I’d love to be exclusive with you too, ○○♡ Thank you! ...But because of △△, I absolutely need at least □□万円 a month... I want to be with you and only you, but I can’t quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because I need the money (sob)... I’m sorry (sob).”
Then glance up at him and subtly gauge his reaction.
(Is he going to go for it?! Or not?? Which is it??)
○○ says, “Then I’ll give you □□万円 a month!”
(Yes! We’ve got ittttt!!)
That’s the idea. Then have the man hide your profile from his search results.
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Couldn’t you make it work by telling each one, “You’re the only one,” while still managing things cleverly?
If you usually give off the impression that you’re busy with work, or have limited free time because of hobbies and lessons—and make them understand that “you’re the only man I’m seeing, but my life doesn’t revolve entirely around you”—you should be able to maintain relationships with several papas while having the club hide your profile.
In that sense, you’ll probably come to realize that things like having a papa rent an apartment for you, which was popular in the question box a little while ago (lol), are actually nothing but inconvenient.
If money is the only benefit women get from dating a papa, then use your head and manage things wisely.
Marika
P.S.
That said, there’s no need for you to rush. If you’re in your twenties, you still have about 20 years of being in your prime, so I’d say you’ll be fine.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
It seems there’s a full-scale war going on between men who refuse to leave or suspend their memberships and women who are told to do so—like attracts like.
Even if you date a completely self-centered man, I can’t see how your wishes will ever come true.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here.
Let’s assume you could receive a monthly allowance of ¥400,000 by dating multiple men rather than committing to just one.
If you commit to one person, receiving ¥400,000 a month from him would simply leave you breaking even, so there’s no real benefit.
In that case, it seems it would only be worthwhile for the woman if she were offered 1.5 to 2 times that amount—or more.
So if he offers ¥600,000–¥800,000 a month, you can agree to it.
If not, why not suggest a pay-per-meeting arrangement instead?
Most of the time, I think they’ll simply give up and move on.
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This is Kobayashi from the Tokyo branch.
It is possible to hide a specific gentleman from your view, so please contact the club to discuss it.
Also, if a gentleman ever pressures you to leave the club, please report it to us immediately. He will be forcibly removed from the club for violating the rules.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t necessarily think it puts you at a disadvantage. There are two reasons.
1. If he offers you a more generous allowance in exchange for suspending or ending your membership, that solves the issue of losing your allowance income.
Of course, limiting yourself to one partner also has the disadvantage of making it harder to choose to walk away during future negotiations, since you won’t have other papas. In that case, I think it would be best for the man to make up for that disadvantage.
2. I don’t know how old you are, but what exactly do you mean by a woman being in her “prime”? (笑) There are plenty of men out there who don’t like girls who are too young.
I honestly think women who can only talk about their appeal in terms of their age must be pretty boring. If you want to make as much money as possible in a limited period, you’d get better value for your time working in the adult entertainment industry. (笑)
I can also think of two immediate advantages for women.
3. You’re less likely to receive offers from outrageous men and have unpleasant experiences.
There are occasionally questions about this, but unfortunately, some truly awful men in dating clubs don’t treat the women they meet as human beings. I’ve personally had many experiences where a partner came to me in tears to talk about another man. Reducing the chances of running into someone like that is surely a benefit.
4. If he agrees to meet you a certain number of times each month, your monthly allowance will be more stable.
Rather than deciding from the start that you have to turn him down, why not ask him what you would gain in return for suspending or ending your membership?
If he can’t offer terms that you find acceptable, his request for you to suspend or end your membership will probably fade away on its own.
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