My only papa has started arguing with me. Does he enjoy proving people wrong? I can't explain it well, but he refuses to acknowledge things and often negates what I say. Since he denies things with a smile, I don't think he's angry, but it makes me sad, and I find myself secretly getting irritated because I can't accept it. However, I don't argue back.
This content is machine-translated.
For example, when I say something like, “I think〜,” he responds with things like, “That's not right,” “Why would you think that?” or “You mean〜, right?”
Also, if I'm just a little late—like one minute—even after I apologize, he stays in a bad mood for a while. If I take longer to reply to his LINE messages, he gets angry and stops replying to me as well. If something displeases him, he glares at me or ignores me.
I can't help thinking, “He's more than 20 years older than me and old enough to be my parent.” Does age really not matter? Maybe I'm the one too hung up on age, but I wonder if my papa's emotional age is low. I dislike how childish he can be.
He's kind at other times, but now that we've been seeing each other for a while, maybe I'm finally starting to see his true colors.
He makes no effort at all to maintain our relationship.
I know in this world, it's common to be discarded as soon as someone gets bored, and that there are plenty of replacements. But I feel that treating someone with respect as a human being is a separate issue. It genuinely hurts.
Just because he can discard me and has plenty of other options, I don't think it's right for him to treat me carelessly.
Is there any way to improve our relationship?
Would it be better to keep putting up with this and continue seeing him?
Thank you.
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Hmm? Why not just end things with him?
The only truly one-of-a-kind person in this world is probably yourself. Thinking that he’s your one and only papa is just your own assumption. If you continue with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), another papa (a male supporter) might come along, and then he wouldn’t be your only one anymore.
Don’t you think it’s unhappy to keep seeing your current papa while feeling miserable and worrying about it?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Aya, a female member.
I know what you mean. Once you’ve been seeing someone for a while, they start treating you more casually—or rather, pretty carelessly. It’s more than a little unpleasant.
Women especially tend to feel dissatisfied when a man’s initial enthusiasm doesn’t last. His gifts become thoughtless, his kindness becomes half-hearted, and so on. Apparently, these kinds of changes in men are often what drive women to cheat.
In the past, I tried to gently speak up to one of my papas, saying things like, “Don’t you think the way you’ve been talking to me lately is a bit harsh?” or “That’s kind of scary, you know.” But all he said was, “It just means we’ve gotten comfortable with each other.”
So after that, I gave up and continued seeing him while making sure he didn’t realize I’d given up emotionally. If the allowance is generous, I think I can somehow accept it.
My papa sometimes tells me, “You’re so cold,” but I don’t care. If he ever finds out how I really feel, I think that’ll be the end of us.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Taro, a male member.
Do they always argue back? Then try saying the opposite of what you really think. You might get an enthusiastic agreement.
Or you could throw them off with a confusing statement like, “It’s not like that kind of thing doesn’t not exist, right?”
Maybe the other person is emotionally immature—or feels comfortable enough around you to act like a child. I think you should respond in a childlike way too.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
People like that do exist.
But they’ve lived for 40 or 50 years with that personality. Even if you brought it up, they’d probably just get offended or start an argument.
In the end, I think it comes down to whether you can put up with it.
Marika
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
That’s a sweet question.
He’s probably had many more years of working and life experience than you, and is quite fulfilled in life.
From your message alone, it’s hard to tell whether he’s treating you with fond amusement or not. But if you talk to him honestly about how you feel, I think you’ll get a better sense of his feelings too.
I doubt there’s as much ill intent as you may be sensing.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t think someone’s real age or emotional maturity necessarily corresponds to how relaxed and composed they are. Perhaps the kind of partner that papa is looking for is someone he can behave immaturely around.
Since it’s not easy to find a woman who would go along with that without an allowance, you could also look at it as that man using a dating club to find his partner.
Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s much you can do to improve the relationship. If he’s making no effort at all to maintain it, then you can simply drop him too.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
