I’m a 26-year-old single woman. I recently got a very kind and caring boyfriend whom I love more than anyone I’ve dated before and want to cherish. However, since I live alone in the city center, it’s difficult to get by on my day job alone, so I’ve been doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and paid social dinners for nearly four years. I also have someone I’ve been seeing regularly for over a year. We have a monthly arrangement of 200,000 yen: dinner once a week, an adult relationship (intimate) twice a month, and he gives me presents for special occasions. We also exchange messages on LINE almost every day. We’re close enough to talk about anything, like best friends, rather than having a purely transactional relationship, and my papa (a male supporter) cares about me. I care about him too.

I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer as well. Since you wouldn’t be able to support yourself if you broke up with your papa, and it seems you’ve built a good relationship with him, I think you should continue seeing both your boyfriend and your papa. If you stop doing allowance-only arrangements and papa-katsu with other people, you’ll reduce the risk of being found out. So for now, I think it would be best to see only those two. You may feel uneasy relying on just one papa, but I think it’s better to minimize the risk of getting caught. As for keeping it from being discovered, Aya’s tips on how not to get caught seem very helpful. You need to be careful in all sorts of situations, since you never know where the truth might come out. I think you should continue seeing both of them while staying cautious. If things progress to marriage with your boyfriend, you’ll probably be able to support yourself. You can decide what to do about your papa at that point. For now, I don’t think you have the luxury of feeling guilty. Your livelihood is important too.

I’m Aya, a female member. I’m in a somewhat similar situation to you. I have a papa (a male supporter) I’m very fond of, as well as a boyfriend, and I care about them both. Is your papa married? If he is, he probably feels some guilt about the situation too, so even if you have a boyfriend, you may be able to maintain a loving relationship while still keeping a clear boundary. As for keeping your boyfriend from finding out, I think the key is to care about them both equally while keeping your lifestyle and spending low-key. I’m naturally pretty frugal, but I either use things that are no more expensive than what people my age normally use—or I don’t show expensive items at all, from my apartment and cosmetics to my clothes and accessories. For things like salons, cosmetic dermatology, or esthetic treatments that occasionally cost a lot, I either pretend I don’t go or avoid bringing them up with my boyfriend so he won’t notice how much they cost. As long as you live as though you’re managing on an ordinary salary, I think you’ll be able to avoid being found out. Also, make sure your boyfriend can’t see your LINE messages—hide the chats, exchange messages through email drafts, or use older social media platforms like mixi. I message my papa on LINE every day too, but I never do it in front of my boyfriend. If he becomes suspicious, you could lose something precious. If you and your boyfriend end up getting married, you can simply say goodbye to your papa then, I think. Good luck.

I’m a male member, Paper Airplane. If you feel that strongly, it may be best to end things. That said, sometimes your relationship with a papa (a male supporter) can become deeper and last much longer. I think you should decide based on which relationship feels more likely to last a lifetime.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. I’m a man and more than a decade older than the person asking, so I probably see things differently. But if I were to offer advice, it would be to clearly set your priorities. If trouble arises, keep only the one thing that matters most and immediately cut off everything else without hesitation. If you’re prepared to do that, you’ll be able to keep the damage to a minimum. If you make that decision in advance, I think it’s fine to maintain the status quo for now.

I’m Kazu, a male member. If you only think there’s a chance you might get caught, and it’s difficult to make ends meet on your regular job alone, then why not continue? Supporters like that can be hard to find.