I’m close with a papa who has a family, but since I can only see him when it works for him, I feel it’s unfair when he tells me not to get a boyfriend or do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). We can only meet at his convenience.
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Am I being greedy?
It’s not that I dislike him. I like him, which is why I find it so frustrating. I know I’ll never be the most important person in his life. He’s living a normal family life anyway.
I can’t see him when I need someone to rely on most, and we can’t casually go out together. Even when we do go somewhere, we can’t really have fun together by riding thrill rides because of his age. Camping is out of the question too. The season for enjoying things like going to the beach is coming up, but...
I happened to read a question from someone who’s acting as a mistress, and I really related to it.
For those of you in similar relationships, how do you deal with those unfillable feelings, the things you can’t do together, and the generation gap?
Would it be easier to put up with if he gave me amazing experiences I could never have with a boyfriend my own age?
Maezawa from the president’s office here, and I’ll answer your question as well.
Thank you for your question.
He has a wife and is doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), yet he expects you to see only him. As you said, that does seem unfair.
That said, telling him you’ll find someone else too would defeat the purpose.
I think you should discreetly find another papa (a male supporter) or get a boyfriend without telling him.
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I understand that you have to meet when it’s convenient for him, but I wouldn’t want someone who suddenly asks to meet today or tomorrow.
He doesn’t care about you as much as you think he does. I think it’s perfectly fine to find a boyfriend your own age or look for another papa (a male supporter).
However, if you’re meeting this papa so often—or he keeps making last-minute plans—that it’s difficult to make other plans, ending things may also be worth considering.
If you really like him and don’t mind being pushed around, then follow him until you’re completely worn out! Just keep your boundaries, and be careful not to become overly demanding or stalker-like.
Marika
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
That man is being selfish too—expecting her to accommodate his schedule and not get a boyfriend or do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). So I think they’re both asking for the same thing.
Feelings and behaviors that can’t be fulfilled will arise no matter who the other person is. For example, a papa (a male supporter) gives you an allowance, but your boyfriend doesn’t, right?
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