Hello, I always enjoy reading everyone’s unique and insightful answers.
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My question is below.
Are the gifts and allowance you receive from a papa (a male supporter) proportional to how much he likes you?
It may be a lonely desire, but I want to feel certain that I’m his number one.
There’s a papa who gave me a Cartier watch for my birthday, but he also bought a Van Cleef necklace after a hostess at a lounge asked him for one.
The watch cost twice as much as the necklace, so I found myself wondering, “Maybe he loves me more?”—a shallow, competitive streak typical of a papa-katsu girl.
Considering how often we meet, I also think I probably receive the most allowance, but is it strange to consider myself number one based on things like that?
Some of you may be seeing several women. In your experience, is the amount you spend on each woman every month proportional to how much you like her?
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well.
Thank you for your question.
I’m not entirely sure of the situation, but if it’s a case of:
- You said you wanted a Cartier watch, and he bought it for you.
- The lounge girl said she wanted a Van Cleef necklace, and he bought it for her.
Then he simply bought each of you something you wanted, so I think it would be difficult to rank his feelings based on that alone.
If he bought it for you without you saying anything, then it may indicate that he’s been thinking about you, so you could perhaps consider yourself slightly higher in his priorities.
That said, I don’t think it’s easy to measure affection by the price of a gift.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
It’s been a long time since I’ve given anyone a present, but I can understand the male mindset behind buying a gift for a nightlife worker because she asked for one, and then buying an even more expensive gift for another woman he truly cares about—even though she never asked.
Also, when it comes to measuring how loved someone feels, I think frequency matters more than the price tag. People who earn reasonably well tend to be fairly busy, so their time is more valuable than their money. I’m the same way, and I think many men don’t put a price on the women in their lives. In that case, things like how often they see you and how much time they spend with you can be fairly useful indicators.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
When we overthink things beyond the facts, we often end up getting farther from the truth. In this case, the only fact is that the questioner is having more money spent on her than the girl from the lounge. That doesn’t necessarily mean there’s more love involved.
As for my answer: of course I’d spend money on my favorite woman. I wouldn’t want her to dislike me, even a little, lol.
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They’re a pro at asking for things, after all.
The fact that your papa (a male supporter) gifted you a Cartier watch without you even asking shows that you’re the one he truly cares about.
Marika
P.S. As Mac said, to a man, that difference in price is insignificant.
Before writing the answer above, I was going to say: When you buy ice cream for your nieces and nephews—or, if you don’t have any, younger cousins—do you choose different kinds based on which child you find more or less cute?
Whether it’s Yukimi Daifuku or Häagen-Dazs, you’d buy them whichever one they asked for, right? I decided not to write that, though.
The prices are about twice as different, but they’re both delicious.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
> Do the gifts from a papa and the amount of the allowance tend to be proportional to how much he likes you?
In my case, no. Actually, I don’t think you can really put a number on how much you like someone.
That said, aside from a few exceptions, I give the same allowance amount to everyone. So if you consider how often we meet a measure of how much I like someone, then the monthly total allowance is proportional to how much I like her.
(By “a few exceptions,” I mean things like temporarily increasing the allowance after hearing that she was struggling financially to the point of being unable to pay her rent, or giving more because she comes to see me by bullet train.)
Gifts aren’t directly proportional, but naturally, I have more opportunities to think about giving something to the girls I like—that is, the ones I see more often—so I end up giving them gifts more frequently. I wouldn’t consider giving someone a Cartier watch or a Van Cleef necklace, though, so my gifts are generally just small items worth a few tens of thousands of yen at most.
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