I turned down an adult relationship (intimate) and was reported as a “money-grabbing C-type.” Is it really so wrong for a C-type to decline because the allowance isn’t what she was hoping for?

Maezawa from the President’s Office here. Thank you for your question. Overall, I don’t think you did anything particularly wrong. Based on what you’ve described, though, I feel this could have been avoided if you had handled a few things more carefully. It seems that some minor missteps in your communication ended up causing problems. ① You told the man, “I’ll leave the allowance up to you,” but then said: “I turned it down because pay-per-meeting at 50,000 yen didn’t seem worthwhile if it was at his home.” “My rent is 150,000 yen a month, so I only want to see someone who can at least cover that.” Those statements contradict each other. From the context, it sounds like you simply didn’t want to go to his home. In that case, I think you should have said, “I’m not comfortable going to your home, so I’ll have to decline.” If the problem was that 50,000 yen wasn’t enough and you wanted someone who would provide at least 150,000 yen a month, then saying you would leave the allowance up to him was misleading. It would have been better to say from the beginning that you wanted at least 150,000 yen per month. ② You contacted the man to tell him that being yelled at in the establishment was extremely frightening. I don’t think contacting him was a good idea. If you had been seeing him, you might have built some trust, and he might have responded by saying he would be more careful next time. But telling someone you had already turned down doesn’t really accomplish anything. I think simply thanking him would have been enough. > Are women like this simply treated as complainers? I don’t think you were treated as a complainer this time. Rather, it seems they checked whether what the man said was true—and found that it was. You may be wondering, “Why, when I said that wasn’t the case?” But even in your question, you wrote: “I turned it down because pay-per-meeting at 50,000 yen didn’t seem worthwhile if it was at his home.” “My rent is 150,000 yen a month, so I only want to see someone who can at least cover that.” At first glance, this may seem different from what the man said. However, the substance of his complaint was probably that you had said you weren’t particular about money, but then focused on the allowance and declined him because of the amount. In that sense, what he said and what you actually did were consistent. That said, you’re free to set whatever allowance you want. I don’t think wanting 150,000 yen a month means your sense of money is out of touch. If that were considered out of touch, then perhaps the man’s sense of money would be the questionable one. As for your rating, it will probably amount to nothing more than “there was an incident like this.” It may affect your offers slightly, but I don’t think the impact will be significant. If you’re worried, you can contact me, Maezawa, through the inquiry form below the question box. I can at least give you a general idea of whether the matter is serious or nothing to worry about. Going forward, I think you should explain your reasons to the staff a little more clearly yourself. Since they are checking the facts, think through whether your answer should be yes or no before responding. Also, with men, I think it’s better either to clearly state what you want or avoid saying, “I’ll leave it up to you.” If you say that, you may end up having to accept even a very low allowance, such as 10,000 yen. If you don’t want to accept a low amount, you should say something like, “I’m hoping for 70,000 yen.”

I’m Hikoki, a male member. I sympathize with you in many respects, but the ¥150,000 rent is a deal-breaker for me, so I’d pass. Even at the Black or Platinum level, girls who are happy with ¥30,000–¥50,000 are cuter and nicer. It’s also understandable that the staff lost interest in introducing you, although you probably don’t need me to explain that. If you’re a Black-level woman, even one bad piece of feedback would make it difficult for the staff to recommend you again. Men generally won’t make an offer unless there’s a compelling reason to. Things might be different if you joined another club as a new member, but even then, they’d find out pretty quickly.

I’m Taro, a male member. I understand that things got complicated, but was the real issue the allowance, or was she simply not okay with you? Which was it? She said, “I felt uncomfortable going to his home, and more than anything, he lacked basic cleanliness and had an overbearing personality.” Would she have been okay with it if the allowance had been 100,000 or 150,000 yen? If so, then saying “I’ll leave the allowance up to you” was a lie. I think the questioner was at fault for saying that. I can understand saying “I’ll leave the allowance up to you” because the initial impression was good, but then deciding you’re not interested after being subjected to unreasonable requests or an overbearing attitude. Even so, bringing money into it would only make things more confusing. (Though I imagine it’s difficult to turn someone down in that situation.) Either way, it sounds like a communication failure. As for the club lowering your rating, based on the questioner’s account, it does seem unfair. But it’s hard to say without hearing the club staff’s side as well. My instinct is that the questioner made several communication mistakes.

I’m Kazu, a male member. You explained to the staff that it wasn’t the amount of the allowance itself that bothered you, but that, given who the man was and the fact that you would have had to go to his home, you decided you couldn’t pursue the arrangement for that allowance, correct? I can’t imagine the staff bringing up your rating out of nowhere. The reason is that the staff must be thoroughly fed up with hearing men who’ve been turned down complain that a woman is “only interested in money” or has misrepresented her relationship preferences. They should have enough experience to simply nod along while picking their noses at whatever an angry, rejected old guy is spouting. Even if a woman said the pay-per-meeting allowance was ¥30,000 just to turn someone down, I doubt they would label her financially out of touch based on a single piece of feedback. > Are women like this simply treated as complainers? Since you didn’t file a complaint with the club, I don’t think you could be considered a complainer in the first place. Based on your question, the man seems more likely to be treated as one. > Or am I completely jaded, both physically and emotionally, with my sense of money totally warped? I did think you lived in a nice area, but you seem to have an income to match, so I didn’t think your sense of money was beyond your means. I don’t think you need to worry about what a rejected old guy says. A great many women write an amount of ¥150,000 or more in response to “My desired monthly support amount is” on the mistress assessment form. So I still don’t understand why the staff would have said they were changing your rating. I suspect there’s some other reason—perhaps something you left out of the question to avoid being identified, or something you overlooked. I recommend calmly thinking back over your conversation with the staff and considering what may have caused it.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. > When I turned down an adult relationship (intimate), I received a complaint calling me “all about the money” and a “C-type.” > Is it really so wrong for a C-type to decline because the allowance isn’t what she was hoping for? I don’t think it’s wrong at all. First of all, since this is a dating club, I think everyone is thinking about the money to some extent. Under those circumstances, people are deciding whether or not they want to pursue an arrangement. If you’re not interested, it’s perfectly fine to turn it down. It happens all the time. Trust yourself and look for a man you’re comfortable seeing... I also think having a distorted sense of money is different from simply being “all about the money.”