I’m seeing a man quite a bit older than me. I’d really appreciate advice from those with more relationship experience—when is it time to break up with your boyfriend?
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I wouldn’t say I absolutely hate him when he says he dislikes me, and when he says he loves me, I do love him—but he keeps changing what he says (like “I’ll give you…” → “I’m not giving you that,” or “Let’s go…” → “We’re not going”), and he’ll quietly abandon promises he made (like “I’ll support you this far” → then he stops supporting me). Because of this, I still can’t bring myself to trust him.
I’m frequently overwhelmed by the anxiety that this may continue in the future, that things that are serious or important to me are being taken lightly, and that no matter how kind and gentlemanly he seems on the surface, he may be making fun of me in his heart.
I’m at a crossroads, wondering whether I should look for someone else through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or stay with him.
I’ve always liked significantly older men.
I’m in my late twenties. Thank you in advance.
This is Kosaka from the staff!
Once you can no longer trust someone, I feel like that’s the end of the road!
Looking for a gentleman interested in a serious relationship through Universe might be one option as well!
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here.
Thank you for your question.
If you’re unhappy or uneasy about your current papa, I think you should look for a new one.
That said, you’ll probably have a hard time if you wait until after ending things with your current papa, so I recommend looking in parallel.
No one is perfect, but you should try to find a papa you can feel comfortable with and trust as much as possible.
To do that, I think you’ll need to meet various men.
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I was involved with someone like that for about 20 years, starting in my mid-20s, and we parted ways last year.
I realized how I felt when I started finding it a hassle to meet even when he asked, and no longer felt like rearranging my schedule just to see him if I already had other plans.
Another factor was that I met someone who treated me better and was more compatible with me sexually.
You’re young, so you have plenty of options. Please keep an open mind.
Marika
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
> She makes promises and then abandons them without saying a word—like, “I’ll give you…” turning into “I’m not going to,” or “Let’s go…” turning into “I’m not going,” and “I’ll support you this far” turning into no longer supporting you.
Isn’t that kind of lovey-dovey?
Even though I grumble about it, it’s okay to keep loving her and continue like this, right?
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I’m Taro, a male member.
If you no longer want to see someone or your feelings have cooled, then it’s time to end things. It doesn’t have to be a rational decision. You may look back and regret it later. People can’t always make perfect decisions, and I believe we learn and grow from our mistakes. So although it may sound a bit blunt, I think this is the right way to decide.
If you feel stuck, why not try papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)? There’s nothing wrong with broadening your horizons, and having options is important in any situation. After seeing what else is out there, if you decide that your current boyfriend really is the best choice, that’s a perfectly good outcome too.
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