Have you ever met someone you were hopelessly incompatible with? In that situation, should you pretend to enjoy it, or is it better not to?
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Even with all kinds of foreplay, I don’t feel good at all. I do get wet from the stimulation, so I let him go ahead, but if I don’t feel anything inside either, should I pretend to enjoy it?
Since I’m not enjoying it, just lying there passively feels more like being a genuine beginner—or simply acting naturally—so I feel like it might be better than trying to seem professional. But I’m getting paid, and he’s doing all sorts of things for me, so I feel bad. It probably hurts a man’s pride, too.
I read an answer somewhere before saying that just because you’re getting paid, you shouldn’t put up with pain or things you dislike (?). But what should you do when you simply don’t feel anything or aren’t enjoying it?
Assuming I won’t see him a second time, how should I get through the first meeting? Is it okay to just lie there passively? Should I moan even if it’s a lie?
I can say so if something hurts, but I really can’t bring myself to say that I’m not enjoying it.
I do have genuinely enjoyable sex, so I don’t think I’m incapable of feeling pleasure.
As Maezawa from the president’s office, I’ll answer as well.
Thank you for your question.
If you don’t think you’ll meet him a second time, there’s no need to pretend otherwise.
That said, being cold or curt can lead to trouble, so I’d recommend treating him kindly as a general rule.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
We put up with unpleasant things because there’s something to gain from doing so. For example, we get up early and go to work because we’re paid for it. If you already had enough money to live comfortably, you probably wouldn’t bother getting up early to go to work.
If it’s only going to be a one-time thing, I don’t think you should pretend. If you put on an act to spare the man’s feelings and he mistakenly thinks you’re a good match, it could lead to a lot of hassle. If you’re going to act, I think it should only be when you’d like to see him again.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
I think it’s fine to just be honest about it. If you end up being intimate without any real chemistry or emotional connection, things like that can happen—it’s basically an accident. There’s no need to pretend otherwise. To be frank, men experience that too. Of course, you shouldn’t make the atmosphere uncomfortable, but I don’t think there’s any need to fake feelings you don’t have.
If it were a sex-industry service, you might say you just have to put up with it and provide the service. But with a dating club, I think it’s fine to be yourself. I believe that’s what these places are for: finding someone who’s looking for that kind of connection.
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I’m a male member, “Paper Airplane.”
For men, I try to imagine a different girl—pretending I’m with the girl who turns me on the most—and desperately work to get myself aroused through my imagination.
Even then, if the chemistry is bad, it’s just not going to happen. There’s nothing you can do about it.
I think it’s fine to make an effort to finish on your own by remembering and fantasizing about genuinely pleasurable sex. But if you’re only acting, and you don’t plan to meet a second time anyway, I think it’s better for both of you to realize that you’re simply completely incompatible and say goodbye without lingering feelings.
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