I suffer from severe constipation and my stomach gets bloated.
Because of that, I take a huge amount of laxatives the day before meeting my papa (not a papa I met here). (Around 60 of those little pink pills.)
Maybe because of that, I sometimes feel the urge to go during an adult relationship, and occasionally a little leaks out.
Since it's liquid, it's not that bad, and my partner hasn't noticed.
Are mishaps like this just an everyday occurrence at Universe Club too?
Would a woman like me even be accepted?
My stats are 166 cm, 52 kg, an E cup, unemployed and a graduate of a private university in Tokyo (though I plan to lie at Universe Club and say I'm a bank employee). I entered beauty pageants while I was a student, worked as a salon model, and appeared in an image DVD. I regularly take sleeping pills, psychiatric medication, and laxatives, and sometimes get messed up from mixing sleeping pills and alcohol, resulting in blackouts and memory loss (like accidentally sending my papa incomprehensible messages).
I used to have three pay-per-meeting arrangements paying 150,000 yen, two paying 100,000 yen, and four paying 50,000 yen per meeting every month. Strangely, generosity and personality seem to be inversely related: the low-paying papas paying 50,000 yen per meeting were the most persistent on LINE and invited me out privately the most, so if I get accepted by Universe, I’m cutting them off!!
Whenever my papas ask about my past relationships, I’ve only had sad romances, so I end up getting teary.
I deny being emotionally unstable, and they understand. Of course, I have no self-harm scars.
Most of my papas are older men who want to know what I’m like on the inside, so they ask me all sorts of questions.
Every time, I end up talking endlessly about how I have no hope for the future, how I live in despair over something all the time, how I’m always anxious and feeling chased by something. I’ve read all kinds of books and had many experiences, but in the end I realized I’m a person with nothing and fell into despair again and again—that I’m incompetent and empty. (Haha.)
I’m not emotionally unstable, of course, but is a woman like this unsuitable for Universe Club?
At the club I was previously registered with, I was in the highest rank.
But still, no matter how good I look, will I only get offers from pathetic, shabby salarymen with ordinary incomes who barely qualify for Gold Class...? *sigh*
My sleeping pills are starting to kick in, so sorry if this is incoherent.
Mr. Kida and Mr. Maezawa, I’m always impressed by how much you both go through and how accurate your advice is. (๑･̑◡･̑๑)
Please review my application!!
I have experience with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), lounges in Nishi-Azabu, and even being the mistress of a prominent politician, but I’ll present all of that as if I’ve never experienced any of it.
It seems all the professional Minato Ward girls who registered with Universe got through by claiming to be ordinary office workers, so I hope I don’t get found out.
I’m Meg, a female member.
You seem to have a beautiful appearance, but it sounds like you’re having a hard time making the most of it.
Why not start by getting your physical health in order? Try maintaining a regular routine, eating properly, and getting enough sleep.
After that, it would be a good idea to start decluttering. Your home will become more organized, too.
Try this for three months, and if your bowel movements still haven’t improved, ask again.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
This sounds like a very typical story about a woman deeply immersed in Tokyo’s nightlife scene. I’ve heard it many times in Ginza and Roppongi. It’s so common that I sometimes wonder whether some old guy is just posting it to kill time.
Usually, after a few years, you stop seeing them around and hear through the grapevine that they’ve opened a nail salon or married one of their clients. A few more years later, you hear that they’ve had a child or apparently gotten divorced.
To avoid ending up in that kind of situation, I’d recommend treating papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as something you do on the side, alongside a daytime job. Unless you develop skills other than giving men oral sex, the rest of your life is going to be pretty tough.
I’ve seen women with constipation accidentally pass gas, but I’ve never had anyone leak feces or liquid stool on me. I don’t think it happens every day.
Since you regularly take sleeping pills and psychiatric medication, I’d say you’re definitely what people call a “menhera.” I do think you’d be better off focusing on treatment, but as long as you don’t go to the interview and accidentally ramble on about things that are likely to result in complaints from male members later, you should probably be able to register.
Here’s an arrangement inspired by Seattle-san: if your profile says, “I’m unemployed and addicted to sleeping pills. I’ve been tested for STIs. Please give me an enema,” and you have an attractive profile photo, I’m sure offers would pour in. I’d probably make an offer too if I were a Gold or Platinum member. I’m not into scat, so I’d hesitate to make a joke offer as a Black member.
So, what was the question again?
Considering that all your professional Minato-ku women acquaintances say they passed their interviews, you’re not really worried about whether you yourself will pass, are you?
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I’m Kamihikoki, a male member.
You’re just about right for Universal—or rather, for papa-katsu, since you’re unemployed and dedicated to papa-katsu… Why not stay dedicated to it for a little while longer?
People of all genders have different ways of thinking and different things they’re looking for.
The club would be more than happy if you’re open to an adult relationship (intimate). In your case, you’d pass with flying colors without any concerns.
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I’m in Seattle.
If you write “bank employee,” I feel like you’ll only attract ordinary, low-paying papas.
Rather, this question is so interesting that I think you should put it in your profile exactly as is.
Write, “I’m an unemployed drug addict. Please train me with enemas,” and I’m sure a flood of shady, perverted, generous gentlemen will come running.
You’ll relieve your constipation too—a win-win. I’ve done it to my wife before.
Being distinctive is important; it’s all about standing out. I’m sure you’re a beautiful person.
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