I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I’m definitely the type who tailors my activities to each person I meet.
There are quite a few moments when I think, “I don’t know about this,” but every now and then, something good happens too.
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I feel like you can more or less tell whether someone doesn’t seem interested or whether you really hit it off, but what do you think?
If someone comes on unusually strong right from the start, I sometimes wonder whether they’re forcing themselves.
> Even though women often say they don’t get many offers, it seems many of them don’t like men seeing multiple women.
Women who say they don’t get many offers want to choose from the ones they do receive—or they want to meet different types of men.
But once a relationship begins, are they basically saying, “Now don’t go anywhere else”?
“I’ve only been getting more confused lately”—I really understand that.
But I suppose that’s just how the world works, isn’t it?
The question is what you choose to do in that situation.
Dating is, in a sense, centered around your own needs, but you can’t build a relationship by thinking only about yourself. Naturally, you also need to show consideration for the other person.
I’m Meg, a female member.
It sounds like women in their 20s and 30s have been leaving you feeling confused.
In that case, why not take the plunge and try someone in her 40s?
I’ll do my absolute best to accommodate my partner’s schedule and preferences. And I’m also one of those women in her 40s who would never smile and seem to be having a great time, only to block you afterward. (big smile)
Oh, and apparently today is “Nyan Nyan Day”—a day for cats and affection.
For me, though, it’s “Nin Nin Day”!
I’m Kazu, a male member.
> When I spend time with women in their 20s, they seem bored, yet they message me saying, “I had a great time, so please ask me out again.” I find that confusing.
No one is going to message you, “It wasn’t fun, but I want an allowance, so please ask me out again.” I’d be shocked if a woman actually did. Anyone with normal social skills would probably message you saying they had a good time.
> When I spend time with women in their 30s, we seem to hit it off and have a really enjoyable time, but then they block me without my realizing it. It’s pretty depressing.
By their 30s, I suppose women have become mature enough to act as though they’re enjoying themselves in the moment.
> Despite all the talk about there being few offers, it seems that many women dislike men seeing multiple partners.
I think the women saying they receive few offers and the women who dislike seeing someone who dates multiple partners are two different groups.
Also, more than half of the questions from women who dislike dating multiple people involve cases where the man said, “You’re the only one I’m seeing, and I want you to see only me,” but was actually seeing other women as well. Their real complaint, I think, is that the man lied—not that he was seeing multiple people.
Of course, some may have reasons such as managing the risk of sexually transmitted infections or wanting to have the man’s entire budget to themselves. But in my experience, by far the most common are cases where women are calling out a man for lying.
> Do you adapt your activities to your partner, or do you do things mainly on your own terms?
I date women I personally like—those whose schedules and compatibility work well for me. Since those things are ultimately based on what both people agree on, I suppose the result is that we’re both putting each other first.
