I can’t get in the mood unless my butt and back are gently touched and caressed… Even though they’re in their 40s–60s, I feel like surprisingly many have little experience, or maybe they’re just not very good at it… I feel like more men in their 20s are better at sex.
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I’d really appreciate any advice on how to communicate this effectively and encourage them to be more attentive with caressing.
Thank you.
Mizukami from the Tokyo branch here as well.
I’m the type who wants plenty of affection, so I openly tell him all about the things I like:
“I want you to use your mouth.”
“I want you to keep teasing me with your words.”
“I prefer it from behind—or from the front.”
“I want you to be more passionate.”
And so on...
When someone says, “I’d love it if you did this♡,” it makes you want to try harder, and there’s less chance of thinking, “This isn’t quite what I had in mind.”
If you tell them and they still don’t change, they probably have no intention of accommodating you.
Talking about things like that over dinner can really build excitement for what comes afterward. It gets me motivated too. (笑)
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Trying to change a man’s behavior by telling him what to do yourself is pointless. Men, especially those in middle age or older, tend to strongly dislike being taught by others. It would be a different story if you were prepared to put in the effort and patiently show him every step yourself, but if you’re not ready for that, I think it’s best to tell him once, see whether he can change, and then decide whether to continue seeing him.
Self-centered intimacy with a middle-aged man can be nothing but painful for a woman, and the truth is, there seem to be quite a few men like that. As a middle-aged man myself, I’ll be careful not to become that kind of person.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
Why not start with her lying face down? Or try hugging her, or positioning yourself over her while she’s lying down.
If you create a situation where the only things she can touch are your back and butt, she’ll naturally start touching you.
The trick of a true master isn’t simply waiting for the other person to make a move—it’s getting them to “make the first move.”
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Sorry! I’m an old guy who still doesn’t really know what he’s doing either.
Far from being handsome, I’m probably pretty immature compared with the other male members.
But I do have a strong desire to learn（笑）
Lately, I’ve been thinking that my partner is becoming more responsive to gentle touches around her nipples.
I still have a long way to go（笑）
Wouldn’t it be better to do it like this…?（笑）
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I’m Kamihikoki, a male member.
I’m not sure what your usual routine is, but it’s frustrating when he doesn’t make an effort to give you the kind of affection you want. I wish he would at least try.
To address this, you may need to teach him how to gently touch your back and buttocks.
When you’re hugging before getting into bed, such as after a bath, or while in bed and cuddling and caressing each other—perhaps lying on your sides—you could use one hand to touch his back or buttocks in the way you would like him to touch you. If he’s perceptive, he may follow your example and caress you more gently while watching your reactions.
It would be nice if you could both caress each other softly and tenderly.
If he still doesn’t return the same kind of affection, you may have no choice but to take the lead yourself… It also sounds like you’ll need to talk to him and explain what you want.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here with an answer.
Thank you for your question.
As you said, there seem to be quite a lot of handsome men in their twenties these days who are good in bed.
You might think that older men have more experience, but people in their twenties today have had the internet since they were young, so if they want to study, they have endless opportunities to do so. It’s different from the old days, when there was little information and people had to learn on their own. Even men in their twenties seem to be quite skilled these days.
Also, if they’re handsome, they’ve probably had plenty of practical experience as well.
At this point, I think women need to accept that this is simply how things are and teach them to some extent.
Having grown up in an era when knowledge about sex was scarce, I hope women can be understanding about that.
That said, there are probably also men who are oddly overconfident, so it may not be that simple.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Apparently, there are quite a few men who aren’t very good. I was surprised when I heard stories like that from women I’ve dated. I’m also acutely aware of the physical decline that comes with age, so I’ll do my best with the skills and patience I’ve developed over the years.
That aside, every woman has different switches and different ways of turning them on, so I think it’s best to tell him exactly what you need: “I can’t get in the mood unless you gently touch and caress my back and butt.” Most men probably want to please the women they’re seeing, so I’m sure he’ll take such a positive comment from you well.
One possibility is that some men may think that since they’re the ones providing the allowance, they don’t need to make the woman feel good. I haven’t gone since joining a dating club, but when I used to visit adult entertainment establishments, I played completely passive because I thought male customers taking the lead would probably make the women uncomfortable.
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