https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/4241

I’m the person who asked this question. Thank you all for your answers. To be honest, I expected to receive a lot of responses like Joe’s. I wrote the post prepared for that, so I was relieved to find that everyone’s answers were much kinder than I expected, although “relieved” may sound a little strange. Honestly, I’m 100% at fault in this situation. I wasn’t able to discuss various things properly during the online date, and since it was my first offer and I didn’t know how these things worked, I compromised too much. Maezawa-san suggested that perhaps I was unhappy about having agreed in advance to be intimate, but more than anything, the frequent messages have been overwhelmingly burdensome for me. But I’m the one who allowed that to happen. Even though this is completely my own fault, I feel that if I refuse now, I deserve to be told, “Are you taking me for a fool? Are you stupid? Are you trash?” I’ve completed both the online and in-person first meetings, and I honestly felt that a lot of things were difficult to convey online. In person, you can get a general sense of someone, but perhaps one of the things bothering me is the idea of going straight to a hotel on the next date when I still don’t know their atmosphere and other details because we’ve only interacted through a screen. So, as several people advised in their answers, I’ll first clearly explain that frequent contact is a burden for me, and ask whether we can make the first date lunch or something similar rather than going to a hotel. I hadn’t thought things through that far on my own, so everyone’s answers were very helpful. And after reading Joe’s response, I realized deep down that it was a perfectly natural reaction and that I had been incredibly full of myself. Just to add one thing: the reason I mentioned the offer fee was that I started to wonder whether I was being treated like someone using an adult entertainment service, since our future dates might involve going straight to a hotel without even having a meal, being intimate, and then immediately parting ways—and because the lower offer fee for online dates seemed to reinforce that impression. That said, even if I felt that way, bringing up the fee and saying I could refuse because it was too low would truly have been a foolish thing to do. Joe-san, thank you for telling me so frankly. And to all the other respondents, thank you so much for offering various suggestions on what I could do, despite the fact that I asked such a foolish question. This isn’t really a question. I simply wanted to express my gratitude to everyone who took the time to answer, so if the respondents are able to see this, there’s no need to publish it. As one request, I’d be happy if you could add a feature that allows people who ask questions to thank those who answer them—something like Yahoo! Chiebukuro. Of course, that might make it difficult to remain completely anonymous.