I’m a flag-maker who writes columns

[Thank-you message for the answers] This is the flag maker. Thank you all for your various advice and answers. I’ll advise her based on what you’ve suggested, including handling it personally, pursuing legal action, and consulting the police. I’m truly grateful for the kind and thoughtful responses, especially from people volunteering their time for free. If there’s ever anything I can do to help in the future, I’ll do my very best.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. I think most people will back off if you have a lawyer send them a formal legal notice by certified mail. Something along the lines of: “Do not contact me again under any circumstances. If you do, I will take legal action.” A lawyer will charge quite a bit even just to draft the document, so you could also consider hiring an administrative scrivener. That said, I think the other person is most likely to realize they’re in trouble when the contact comes from a lawyer, so a lawyer would probably be the safest option.

I’m a female member, Rin. As everyone has already said, it depends on how controlling he is. But if this woman assumed that, since she had chosen to be financially supported by him, she would still be 100% free as before, I think she was being rather naïve. If he interrogates her about where she goes and whom she meets, to the point that it affects her daily life, she should have a proper conversation with him and resolve the issue. I doubt there’s any particularly smooth way to end things. He probably isn’t used to keeping a mistress, and has ended up under the illusion—or delusion—that she is his property. If she tries to run away or cover things up, he might lose his temper, demand that she return everything, or threaten to expose her to her parents or workplace. She should anticipate those possibilities and be prepared to make some kind of sacrifice when ending things, in order to stay safe. Flag Maker, I hope your friend doesn’t get dragged into this or suffer any harm. P.S. Regarding the formal notice mentioned by Maezawa, a judicial scrivener charged about ¥10,000 to prepare one. The wording was much more imposing than anything I could have written myself, and it stated at the end that legal action would be taken if the matter became complicated, so it was extremely effective. That said, its effectiveness also depends on how controlling the other person is and how much mental and physical strain the woman is under. If he is already accustomed to receiving documents like that, it may not have much impact. I think it’s best to start by communicating how you feel—in a place that isn’t private or enclosed.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. I don’t know what kind of private agreement you have with this papa, but I think it’s important to put yourselves on equal footing. 1. Get to know your papa I don’t know how much you know about him, but what kind of person is he? Where does he live, what does he do, and what kind of lifestyle does he lead? 2. Refuse his support Stop accepting the financial support you’ve been receiving from him. 3. Stalking If he keeps persistently following or pursuing you, consult the police about the stalking. The most important thing is to understand what kind of person your papa really is. Generally speaking, many papas probably don’t want to make their relationships with the women they date public. I think it would be best to push him toward making the relationship public. If he isn’t an ordinary papa—as seems to be the case here—you may have no choice but to rely on the authorities.

I’m a male member, Paper Airplane. In the past, when I was trying to separate from my then-wife, who was living apart from me and had filed a non-acceptance notice to prevent the divorce from being registered, a friend helped me by sending all of her belongings—from her clothes onward—back to her parents’ home. She apparently hated the thought of my friend touching everything, even her underwear, while packing it all up… “Ask your friend to send all of his underwear, clothes, and everything he gave you to the home where his wife lives!”—and use that to bring the breakup to a conclusion… It’s really hard to come up with a good answer, isn’t it? m(_ _)m