I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
Women can be scary ^^;
I’m not sure how far your extramarital relationship has gone, but if the man is married, I think the woman will end up in hell if she gets serious. So, in the truest sense, I don’t think an “extramarital relationship” can really last.
As for a woman who continues seeing me privately in an adult relationship (intimate), well… I’m not sure how to put it. I think I’m simply filed away in her “people for that kind of thing” folder.
It’s safest to be satisfied with relationships arranged through a dating club.
I’m Seattle, a male member.
I do think papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) can develop into a romantic relationship—though I wouldn’t stop paying an allowance.
I’ve only been with Universe for a year, so I figure it could happen if the relationship lasted around five years.
I tend to build deep relationships with a small number of really wonderful women, so even after things end, we usually stay friends—maybe getting dinner once a year.
It’s been about ten years now with the first woman who looked a bit like Ayako Kato. Her child, who was in kindergarten back then, is already in junior high school. It’s fun hearing her stories.
I hope we can stay friends for the rest of my life.
I’m Meg, one of the female members.
Five years, huh…
As I read the previous poster’s post, I found myself thinking, “I’d be happy if it lasted that long…”
We’ve only known each other for six months so far. And in reality, we’ve barely been able to meet because of the stay-at-home restrictions.
I’m in no position to speak as though I know anything, but even so, he has continued to be a source of support for me. I respect him as well.
We’re probably the complete opposite of the kind of papa-katsu that young girls imagine.
At first, I think he assumed that I said I liked him only because money was involved. But now, thankfully, I’ve earned at least some of his trust (tears).
We’re in a position where we have to maintain certain boundaries, but we are in a romantic relationship.
Regarding the questioner’s comment:
> It’s a relationship where the woman keeps things transactional because of the money.
I don’t see it that way. There are also emotionally invested women like me.
> Dear Kamihikoki,
So it’s okay for me to feel that way, then.
Thank you (*^^*)
In that case, I’ll first aim for ten meetings and do my best… (sweat)
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I do think the women at the club are primarily interested in money, but when I look at their profiles and such, I also feel that not all of them are necessarily motivated solely by that.
In our case, we’re basically a money-focused woman and a lecherous old man, but I still feel that she genuinely engages with me. If it were only about the money, I’d rather not pursue the relationship.
Besides, I don’t have a daughter, so although she is a somewhat expensive daughter, I enjoy spending time with her as if she were my own.
P.S.
I like the way Mac described it in his P.S.（笑）
There are parts I can definitely relate to.
I’m a male club member who goes by Paper Airplane.
Compared with my peaceful life before joining the club, my life is now busy—but in a way that lets me fully enjoy all the free time I used to have.
I do have a few regrets… Huh?
While experiencing just how remarkable the club can be, I’ve also come to appreciate all over again the good qualities of my long-term girlfriends of several decades, as well as my girlfriends and partners who are 20 or 30 years younger than me.
As I enjoy spending time with women from the club, where an allowance is involved, I’ve also come to appreciate the good qualities of the women in my life who never needed money from me—just from a different perspective than before.
As the question suggests, extramarital relationships and club papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) are two different things, and each has its own appeal.
Once you have several club women you see every week, your money disappears like water, and you end up spending it wastefully one after another.
If I simply spent peaceful time with my girlfriends, my money wouldn’t decrease nearly as quickly.
The club really is incredible for having that kind of power—the power to make you spend so much money, and even make you want to spend it.
At my age, I never imagined there would be something I wanted to spend that much on, or something that would rank so highly among my priorities. It’s surprising.
It’s almost like a game or a drug. As a man, I can’t seem to restrain myself.
I didn’t write about the age gap last time, but I think relationships with women around 30 years younger are perfectly possible as long as money isn’t involved. There are women who would want to be my girlfriend even without an allowance. Even so, developing that into a romantic relationship is extremely difficult.
I think it’s still quite possible to become life partners despite a significant age gap.
In that case, though, from the very beginning, you need to make the other person feel a corresponding level of comfort and emotional healing without offering an allowance.
Once money enters the picture at the start, it becomes almost impossible for the nature of the relationship to change.
That’s why it’s correct to think of women from the club and people you meet through ordinary channels as two separate things. The women at the club naturally see them as separate as well.
So if, as the questioner hopes, you’re looking for a relationship or an extramarital romance, you’ll need to look outside the club and outside papa-katsu.
If you meet through the club, it’s convenient, immediate, and smooth—but you should probably accept that it’s also a sad relationship with little chance of developing further.
For the future, I think it’s important to understand that club papa-katsu and dating or romance are completely different things.
P.S. To be honest:
Normally, you would never expect to date a sex worker, a hostess, a men’s esthetic worker, or a woman who just happened to sit next to you. But in real life, people do sometimes meet just once and then start dating, or even get engaged or married soon afterward. I’ve actually seen things like that happen around me.
Possibilities can be found anywhere.
To make something like that happen, it’s important to understand what seems absolutely impossible—namely, a woman’s feelings.
When it does happen, the joy is all the greater.
The truth is, whether it seems possible or not, wherever I am, I continue to search for everlasting love and keep taking on new challenges.
PPS. Huh? Meg?
Isn’t that simply what you’d call a serious relationship that began through the club? (Don’t give me that “no allowance” or “dinner only” nonsense!)
PPPS. Meg,
When a romance that began through the club continues for several years, or you’ve met more than 200 times, I think it reaches a point where:
From the woman: “The allowance doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll leave it up to you.”
From the man: “I want to give her even more than before, forever. If she needs anything, I want to do whatever I can for her.”
It’s not just about the allowance anymore. Everything between you is perfectly in sync, like you can read each other’s minds. I think that’s what mutual love looks like.
After meeting 500 or 600 times, your hearts are probably connected somewhere, no matter where you are or how far apart you may be.
