When the woman you’re seeing wants to move, how much financial help have you given or received—or how far would you go? Moving costs, upfront expenses, rent after the move, utilities, food, insurance, bedding, furniture, household goods, and anything else.

I’m Saito, a columnist♪ I don’t interfere much, and I’ve never given her anything extra. I always give her more than enough. She even let me know about her move only after it was over, as a way of thanking me. That said, women’s homes tend to be small and feel very lived-in, so I don’t particularly want to visit them.

I’m a male member in Seattle. How far you go probably depends on how deeply you feel about the woman. It varies widely depending on what the two of you discuss. Personally, I’ve never gone as far as helping someone move.

I’m Marika, a female member. If you become someone’s guarantor, the real estate company may call your home to confirm your details, so you need to be careful if you have a wife or someone else at home. One-time expenses, such as initial costs or moving expenses, can certainly be helpful to women. But what happens with ongoing rent when the relationship ends? If it’s simply, “We’re breaking up, so the support ends too,” she may no longer be able to pay the rent and fall behind. And if you’re her guarantor, that’s a problem of your own making. If you’re thinking only about the woman’s feelings, the simple answer is: ask what kind of support she wants, and don’t offer more than that. As for advice to women, I’d say: make sure you have enough income of your own to support yourself, even if you were to break up with the man at any time.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. > When a woman you’re seeing says she wants to move If she wants to move of her own accord, I think you should leave it up to her. Even if she’s young, she’s an adult and can handle the move herself. If she’s asking because she doesn’t have enough money for the moving costs, then I think it would be good to discuss it with her and offer advice. But if you brought it up as one of the terms of the relationship—offering to pay her rent or asking whether she’d like to live near your home—then I think you should probably cover nearly all of it. And if the question is, “How much does ‘all of it’ include this time?” then, unless she says she doesn’t need something, I think it’s fine to cover everything. She’ll probably tell you what she doesn’t need. She’ll likely look for a place on her own, so if she invites you, you can go with her. If not, I think you should simply wait until she makes her decision. If you move forward while discussing things together, it should go smoothly. Also, even if you’re paying the rent, it’s still not your home. So if there are days when you’d like to spend time at her place, it’s best to tell her from the beginning to avoid problems later. If you’d like to stay at her place once a week, for example, you should mention that before she rents the place. Even if you’re paying the rent, her room is still her personal space, and some women may not be thinking of sharing it with you to that extent.