I’m a woman.

Man in his 30s, new member Reading the question, I realized that people really do want completely different things—though I’m sure gender differences play a role as well. What matters most to me is how much satisfaction I can give a woman through an adult relationship (intimate), so I don’t feel a sense of accomplishment after just one encounter. This may sound like a strange way to put it, but I approach intimacy almost like a massage. I start cautiously at around 70%, feeling things out, then use the previous encounter as a guide and move up to 80% the second time, 90% the third time, and so on. I want to gradually deepen things while being careful not to make her uncomfortable, so the first encounter is merely the starting line. I continue seeing women who can also give me a satisfying return, and for me, that’s when I finally feel like we’ve become close. That’s why, personally, I find the premise of the question a bit of a shame… lol It’s different from the way I feel, but being satisfied with the process leading up to intimacy and with just one encounter seems, in a sense, closer to a typically male mindset.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. I’m surprised by how closely the feelings you describe resemble my own. I’m not particularly proactive about things like “gazing into each other’s eyes or holding hands,” as mentioned in the article, but the part about “thoroughly enjoying the time leading up to an adult relationship (intimate)” is exactly me. “I keep meeting another new man (or woman) and repeating the same thing over and over, no matter how much time passes.” ↑ I’m sure this is something other male members feel as well. It may be the secret behind the success of dating clubs（笑） “I currently find it more exciting to get the opportunity to become close to a man I don’t know at all than the act itself.” ↑ If you changed this to “While being intimate with a woman I don’t know at all…” it would match perfectly. I think dating clubs have really captured the workings of human psychology（笑）