Thank you for your question.
Kida here with my answer.
Since one of our female members has already given an excellent answer, that is essentially the correct one. Still, I’ll respond from the perspective of an older man representing the “papa” side.
If I asked:
“I’m a business owner who currently goes to work every day. I’m interested in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and I assumed it mostly involved meals and dates, but do most people generally ask for money?”
you would probably click your tongue in your head and think:
“Huh? Is this guy all right?”
I’d be very interested to see what would happen if two people with such opposing expectations—“the man wants intimacy, the woman wants money”—went on a date.
First of all, I believe papa-katsu may or may not involve an intimate relationship. But I think the “relationship” referred to in papa-katsu is:
“Dating intended to satisfy temporary sexual curiosity, including conversation.”
(Definition of a dating café under Article 2, Paragraph 6, Item 6 of Japan’s Entertainment Business Act.)
Since you’re in college, I assumed you would have already looked into something like that, but I thought I’d mention it anyway.
As I’m writing this, I’m getting more and more irritated.
Don’t ask, “Do most people generally ask for an intimate relationship?”
Nobody’s asking for you in the first place.
You’ve never really struggled, you don’t understand the depth of sex, and you’ve never loved anyone with all your heart. Someone like you, who only knows about current fashion, celebrity gossip, and YouTubers, isn’t wanted here at all.
Shoo, shoo.
Men are desperate too when they go on dates with college students.
We’re desperate to get you to like us even one-billionth as much as we like the coolness of Lacoste or Brooks Brothers polo shirts—a coolness you people can’t even appreciate.
Nobody wants to join a dating club.
It’s shady, expensive, and the kind of organization women look down on. No one wants anything to do with something like that. We’d all rather go straight home and love only our wives and children.
But we can’t do that. So, reluctantly, we look for affection elsewhere—or try to find some sense of our own worth.
Borrowing the power of money. Even at our age. No matter how people around us may look at us.
Asking, “Do most people generally ask for an intimate relationship?” is the same as asking:
“I’m a beautiful, clean-cut college student, so I can hardly believe this, but surely you don’t mean those old men are the type to ask for an intimate relationship? LOL.”
You’re a college student and you still don’t understand that? What are you studying???
They want it. Obviously, right?
It’s no different from you becoming obsessed with money.
One day, twenty years from now, your husband will probably stop paying attention to you, and you’ll lose the ability to see your own value.
So from now on, I’d like you to phrase your question like this:
“I’m currently a college student. I’m interested in papa-katsu, and from what I’ve read, there seem to be both casual arrangements involving meals, dates, and transportation expenses, and more intimate arrangements that include an adult relationship (intimate). An adult relationship would be difficult for me right away, so would it be possible to start with a casual arrangement first?”
Do you understand, college student?
If you put someone like me in charge of answering your question, you’re going to have a bad time!
