I’d like some advice on how much personal information to disclose to a papa (a male supporter).

Wouldn’t it be better to stop seeing him? Or try changing the subject and steer the conversation away from that topic. If he still keeps pursuing it, then there’s probably something off about him, so you should get away.

If I were a woman, I probably wouldn’t answer that question outright, since it could become a problem if the other person turned into a stalker—showing up at my workplace or home, for example. That said, sometimes sharing that information can help you become closer, so I think it may be best to say something like, “Maybe once we know each other a little better.” You can always decide later whether to tell them once you’ve grown closer. There seem to be a lot of stalking incidents these days, so I think it’s worth carefully considering how much information to share. > I’m amazed that all the gentlemen at the club are still gentlemen even after taking their clothes off. I see. Thank you for sharing that interesting discovery. So dating clubs attract gentlemanly men. Of course, there are probably some exceptions—it’s a matter of proportions.

I’ll ask questions to plan the date, but I don’t pry into anyone’s personal information. As we get closer, women naturally start sharing what they’re comfortable talking about. If I were in a woman’s position and met a papa (a male supporter) like that, I’d keep my distance. I wouldn’t want to continue while feeling uneasy, and I’d be fine if things ended because of that. That’s why I don’t share my own information until we’ve built some trust, either. I focus first on putting the other person at ease and gradually closing the distance.

If he asks, you don’t have to answer. Unless it comes up naturally in conversation initiated by the woman, I don’t think a papa (a male supporter) who gives an allowance needs to ask about those things. It’s also fine to volunteer the information yourself—and even talk about it at length. Normally, on the first day you meet, a woman will happily tell you the things mentioned in the question, even the name of her company. That’s what chemistry and opening up are about. So I think you have to decide on the first day whether you feel comfortable and safe with him. If you have trauma from past experiences, it may be a good idea to open up about that too. On the other hand, if you’re looking for a transactional relationship, it’s probably better to keep some things private and be cautious. If you want to enjoy dating, though, I don’t think you should hesitate too much.

I don’t ask for personal information, but if you want to become one of my top-tier monthly partners, I doubt you can earn my trust without sharing some personal details. My top-tier monthly partners tell me all kinds of things themselves. There’s honestly very little I don’t know about them. Things they can’t tell their parents. Things they can’t tell their boyfriends. Things they can’t tell their best friends. They tell me everything. I naturally grow close to the women who open up to me, and their allowance keeps going up. I’m guessing you don’t need an answer like that, huh? lol For the record, I share tons of personal information about myself. I live alone, after all. When we first meet, I tell them my real name and say, “Don’t worry—I won’t ask for your real name or any other personal information.” It’s part of my flirting strategy, so I wish other papas would do it too. Asking a girl for all her personal information while refusing to share your own is just unhinged. As an aside, I totally relate to Andy’s comment about loving the excitement of first meetings so much that he keeps making offers. Just getting a setup message from Universe Club makes my heart skip a beat—in a good way. I get the same feeling when I receive a notification that a girl has replied to me, and again when we meet for the first time. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say I’ve arranged meetings with 200 women just for that feeling. m(__)m

Let me think about it hypothetically, as if I were a woman. Benefits of disclosing personal information: it makes the man feel closer to you. Drawbacks: the risk of stalking, harassment, and—if he’s married—the risk of his wife finding out who you are. I also divide “personal information” into two categories: Information that could identify you: your real name, address, workplace, school, and so on. Information that probably wouldn’t identify you: your general occupation or a vague area such as “○ Ward.” Beyond that, I’d judge the person based on things like the allowance, compatibility, and whether I wanted to continue seeing him. But if someone insisted on asking for information that could identify me, I’d deliberately tell him a lie. I’d probably make up something by mixing together the attributes of acquaintances and friends. For what it’s worth, I personally give my real name and company name at the first meeting. Also, this may be unusual, but after we first sleep together, I ask for the woman’s full name and save it as her LINE name. I also ask to take nude photos with her face hidden, saying, “It’s just my personal preference, so please.” Surprisingly, most women agree to both their names and the photos; only about one in ten refuses. Maybe it’s because many of them are around twenty years old. If someone refuses, I just smile and say, “Oh, I see. That’s too bad,” and move on—but of course, there won’t be a next date. I don’t know how to put it, but the woman I would be if I were doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and the women I actually want to continue seeing are two different things. It feels a little contradictory. I tried to remember the things I ask at the first meeting: - Do you have a boyfriend? What’s he like? If you don’t have one, why did you break up with your last boyfriend? - How long have you been doing this? Tell me about a man whose preferences left an impression on you, either positively or negatively. - How old were you when you first had sex? What was he like? How long did it last? Roughly how many times have you had sex in total? - Do you masturbate? If so, what do you use as material? Do you like BL? Something like that. Then I dig deeper into whatever topics branch off from those questions. I hardly ever talk about myself—in fact, aside from my name and company, I don’t talk about myself at all. People tell me that’s unusual. Apparently, many other men—other papas—mostly just want to talk about themselves. My way of asking questions probably helps too, but the women seem pretty happy to tell me things. If I had to sum up my approach in one word, it would be respect. I openly show a boyish curiosity, as if I genuinely want to know everything about her. I apparently get intensely disliked and receive low ratings once in a while, but overall this approach works for me, so I don’t worry about it. Once I draw someone deeply into that kind of conversation, I’m on familiar ground. There probably aren’t many men—papas—who can keep a conversation about BL going for an hour. I’ve only learned all of it secondhand from other women; I’ve never actually read any myself. Also, the things I listed above are private, but they don’t provide material for identifying someone, do they? Conversations like that, which don’t reveal someone’s identity, are surprisingly easy to get into. But because they’re so personal, before you know it, you feel extremely close. Then, when the other person asks for your real name or other identifying information, you may end up telling them without thinking. In my opinion, the man the questioner met wasn’t very good at building rapport. > Oh, but there was one person who licked my face. Exactly—that’s how the conversation keeps going. “Yozakura, did you enjoy having your throat used during irrumatio? That explains why you examine your own throat.” The first time I met a woman who could climax from throat stimulation, I was genuinely surprised. Apparently, she had been thoroughly trained by a man who was really into irrumatio. It made me realize that, with enough conditioning, perhaps any part of a woman’s body can become capable of pleasure. Men only have their penis, after all. I’m jealous. People who enjoy having their throats dominated sometimes also like breath-play. “You’re a pervert” is a compliment. It means they’ve been conditioned enough to experience pleasures that ordinary women can’t feel.

Naturally, you should avoid asking for overly specific private information right from the start. Even if you’re asked something you’d rather not answer, it’s probably best to deflect with something like, “Maybe once we get to know each other better.” At the first meeting, I usually only ask what region they’re from, what area they live in, and what area they work in. In my experience, their home region—whether Tohoku, Kansai, or somewhere at that level—can have a significant impact on compatibility. As for where they live and work, that’s mainly so I can be considerate when choosing places to eat or stay. If they’re coming after work or may have to head home late at night, I think some consideration is necessary. That said, if someone won’t even answer those basic questions, I generally assume that we can’t build a basic level of trust—or that they have no intention of doing so—and I choose not to pursue the relationship.

It’s a difficult situation, isn’t it? You don’t want to upset your papa while you’re together. But the way he’s trying to get closer feels kind of scary, so I agree with Maezawa: for now, just say, “Maybe after we get to know each other a little better,” and don’t tell him anything else. Never reveal your home address, company name, or real name. If he keeps insisting, I’d end things, since continuing would feel unsafe. In Fuu’s case, once you become close enough to travel together, he’ll naturally find out some of that information because you’ll use your passport to book flights. But unless he’s a papa you can trust as much as Fuu, you really shouldn’t disclose any personal information. He could become a stalker, so please be careful.

Asking what someone does for a living to keep the conversation going is probably fine. But if they start asking for specific details, like the name of your company, clearly just trying to get your personal information, they’ll likely become exhausting to deal with later, so it’s best to move on quickly. In the moment, you can just brush it off by saying, “I’d like us to get to know each other better, and once you become someone special to me, I’d be happy for us to share more about our private lives.” Then consider the conversation over. Hope this helps. Mr. Make-Do, Thank you for your comment. I haven’t been able to make that many offers, but before I knew it, I’d started making new offers and now I go about my daily life looking forward to them, haha. I look forward to your continued support.