There was a question about “women who aren’t grateful for their allowance,” and I assume it was referring to the post titled “I let my Black member decide the amount, but it stayed at 30,000 yen and I’m dissatisfied”—but isn’t she making an effort and doing her best precisely because she’s grateful, even though there’s no guarantee her allowance will increase if she works hard? Which side is actually ungrateful?

A male member with two and a half years of membership—this is a confused man in his 60s. Mr. Maezawa, First of all, let me make one thing clear: I am not a “blacklisted member,” nor am I a man who dates women while paying an allowance of ¥XX,000 per pay-per-meeting arrangement. Also, the line you quoted in your response—“When things are going well, why would you complain about someone saying something unnecessary?”—is exactly the sentence I wrote in my answer to the original question. I wrote that sentence as a hypothetical example of how someone might react if I were the kind of blacklisted member being criticized. Since you criticized that sort of behavior in your response, I can’t help but take it as an indirect criticism of me. What I felt was problematic was the lack of communication between the man and woman. Something they should have discussed and decided between themselves was, in this case, brought straight to this forum—especially without the woman properly facing the man and talking things through with him. I was also under the impression that the club’s basic policy was not to get involved in matters such as allowances between men and women, but it seems to have taken this issue on. It may be acceptable for individual members to say things like “this person is like this” or “that person is like that,” but I wonder whether it is appropriate for the club itself to take that position. Speaking as a man—and in this case, as a man who dates women—if a woman shows no dissatisfaction and we are enjoying our relationship, I naturally assume that we are in agreement. I wrote this because I think a man would be understandably shocked if a woman interpreted Mr. Maezawa’s response and advice in whatever way suited her, then approached him to negotiate her allowance, saying, “The club says so too.” And as for “preventing the going rate from rising”? …That honestly made me laugh.

Maezawa here, answering as well. > Which of them do you think is the one who isn’t showing gratitude? The question doesn’t provide enough context for me to understand what you mean by “a woman who isn’t grateful for her allowance,” but considering the part I assume you’re referring to: I don’t think it’s fair to say the man isn’t showing gratitude, since he is properly paying her. For example, if he’s a poor man with a low income, that amount may be the fullest expression of gratitude he can afford. The fact that he isn’t seeing other women may also simply mean that he doesn’t have much financial leeway. That said, if the woman is dissatisfied with the situation, then although the man may feel he’s doing everything he can, from her perspective it could still be said that he isn’t showing enough appreciation. Ultimately, if both people involved are satisfied, there’s no problem. I hope they’re able to resolve things smoothly. > When a man like this sees a wealthier man raise the going rate, does he try to prevent rates from going up because he’s afraid women will stop seeing him? I have no idea whether the man who wrote this question is like that, but if there are people who protest by saying, “Why would you bring that up when things are going so well?” then perhaps they’re trying to prevent rates from rising because they’re afraid women will stop seeing them. They only think things are going well for themselves, and can’t put themselves in the woman’s shoes. I have to wonder about people like that. “I thought things were going well for me, but I wonder how she sees it?” I hope more wonderful men come along who are capable of thinking that far.

I’m a male member who’s been here for two and a half years—a lost man in his 60s. I have to say, I’m impressed by the questioner’s way of thinking. She tried every possible tactic to get her allowance increased, but the man didn’t budge at all. So she decided to put it out there in the Q&A box, hoping he’d indirectly realize that he was in the wrong, and that surely some male members and staff would agree with her. But I can’t see “gratitude” at the root of her actions. Other than that, I agree with the spot-on answer from the gentleman known as “Papa-katsu’s Fierce Gentleman.”