If you reduce the allowance, you’ll ruin the wonderful relationship you’ve built. Please keep giving the same amount as before.
Unless she says, “I told you, I don’t need it! *sob*” — keep giving it to her.
People may see it differently, but I think the gentlemanly thing to do would be to assume that “I don’t need it because you always give me plenty” applied only to the last time, and to give her the usual allowance from the next meeting onward.
If she says again that she doesn’t want to accept it this time, I think you should first ask what she wants to do next time and confirm whether she intends to stop receiving it altogether.
If she says she doesn’t want an allowance going forward, switching from an allowance to gifts might be an option.
If buying something every time is a hassle, you could give her something equivalent to a month’s budget in advance. It may also be a good idea to choose something with a high resale value, so she won’t be stuck if she ever needs money in the future.
Come to think of it, gold prices have been rising sharply lately, and Tanaka Precious Metals temporarily stopped selling lower-priced gold. A 10-gram gold bar—around ¥220,000 at the rate from a little while ago, perhaps?—would probably have an excellent resale value.
If you gave her one every month, it wouldn’t technically be an allowance, but she’d still have something she could easily liquidate if she ever needed money. That might work.
Of course, I think it’s best to give her something she actually wants.
Also, if she’s genuinely falling for you, breaking things off later could be very difficult for her. So if you’re going to continue seeing her without an allowance, I think you should be prepared to take responsibility for that.
That’s what a relationship without an allowance seems to imply.
