Paradoxically, since it’s ultimately a transactional relationship involving money, I think it’s better to prepare yourself for the possibility that it may not last.
Of course, you may genuinely come to like each other as people, so while you’re together, try to be mindful of doing things that make your partner happy and don’t make them uncomfortable.
From a papa’s perspective, being open to an adult relationship, being devoted, and having an appealing sexiness that really clicks are often key to keeping things going.
Since it’s a transactional relationship, I feel that breakups are often influenced by outside factors as well. If you get too emotionally invested, it can become burdensome, so I think you should simply enjoy it at a comfortable level.
Rather than focusing on just one person, dating multiple people and spreading out your feelings can also be one option.
Your papa is quite young（笑）
He’s 40 years younger than this old man, so I’m simply jealous（笑）
Back then, the term papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) didn’t even exist. I think compensated dating was just starting to become a thing.
That said, I was completely wrapped up in dealing with whatever was right in front of me! I didn’t have any money either, and papa-katsu never even crossed my mind（笑）
Now, to the point!
They say beauty gets boring after three days, so I think you should bring out whatever makes you personally cute and charming.
Your partner is young too, so their expectations may be high—but you’re young as well, so it’s really a matter of finding the right balance between you two.
> Tips for making papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) last
Basically, it’s the same as dating someone romantically.
It may help to think about what makes a relationship with a boyfriend last. In papa-katsu, many people value the overall dating experience, so it seems that more than just looks are required—things like the quality of the conversation, your mannerisms, and thoughtfulness all matter.
If things don’t work even when you follow the same approach, it might not really be papa-katsu, but enjo kosai (transactional dating). In that case, the priorities are different from those in a romantic relationship. There’s almost no romantic element, and what happens in the hotel may account for around 99% of the arrangement. In that situation, it seems like the only thing that matters is whether you’re compatible in that regard.
Also, there’s a saying:
“If you know your enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the outcome of a hundred battles.”
> What are some things a papa (a male supporter) would be happy to hear?
Of course, it varies from person to person, so I think it’s best to get to know him through conversation.
What would make a 19-year-old happy to hear is probably: “Guys your age often ask me out or confess their feelings, but I’m just not interested. I like older men.”
The key to making it last is being liked. Since she’s already telling you, “I want to see you every week,” you should simply ask her directly, “What is it about me that you like?” Then make sure to keep doing that. Every man has different preferences, so asking him directly is the best approach.
A 30-year-old may seem like an adult from the questioner’s perspective, but as a papa, he’s inexperienced and more likely to try turning things into a serious romance. Be careful, because making your papa too happy can lead to genuine feelings. There are two types of “serious love”: real and fake. The real kind can easily turn into stalking, while the fake kind starts saying things like, “It feels empty exchanging money now that I’ve fallen for you,” or “I want to do it without a condom.” Either way, break things off immediately. Nothing good will come of it. The best men are those who respect the transactional relationship.
There are girls who skillfully manipulate men who have fallen for them and extract money from them—the so-called “Itadaki girls.” It may look glamorous, but every one of them is mentally unwell, so don’t imitate them. In fact, it’s probably safe to assume that they post all those sparkly updates on social media precisely because they’re struggling mentally.
The 19-year-old I’m currently seeing is especially comfortable to be intimate with, and we often stay overnight. I climax three times every time—sometimes four. I have more than ten other ongoing arrangements, but even when we stay overnight, it’s usually only once. Well, maybe that’s not entirely true; there are about two girls I occasionally do it with twice. Still, this 19-year-old is in a league of her own. I absolutely don’t want to let her go. When all is said and done, physical compatibility matters most. Just like with your favorite food, I never get tired of it.
During those three or four times, I sometimes penetrate her while she’s sleeping peacefully. That’s why she’s currently the only one I have unprotected sex with—I’ve even started taking PrEP—and she never refuses. She just lets me do as I please.
I have more than ten girls, but I’ve decided to have only one unprotected-sex partner. The reason is that even if I happened to catch an STD from her, I wouldn’t pass it on to the others. My previous unprotected-sex partner, a 21-year-old, once told me, “It’s okay for you to do it without a condom. Since you do it that way, I decided to start taking the pill.” That was exactly the kind of thing mentioned in the question—something that makes you happy to hear—but the questioner absolutely shouldn’t imitate her. There aren’t any other conscientious papa’s out there like me who have unprotected sex. A man who tries to have unprotected sex with you will definitely do it with other women too, even if he says, “You’re the only one,” and he’ll bring an STD back to you. If you accept an unprotected-sex arrangement, at least take PrEP and valacyclovir preventively. You can buy both through personal importation for a few thousand yen a month. It’s not worth it if the allowance doesn’t compensate for the risk, so don’t do it.
I told my previous unprotected-sex partner, “Well, after thinking it over, I realized we really should use condoms. Sometimes I get worked up and want to do it without one, but thank you for accepting me without complaining. I owe you one. I’ll continue to treasure you, so please stay with me.” She says she’s happy and clings to me.
