Once something starts bothering you, it’s hard to let it go.
Wouldn’t this be a good time to say goodbye?
If he’s already aging that much at 55, I’d be worried about what’s ahead.
If you have a reasonably attractive appearance and are getting offers, it might be better to move on to a new papa (a male supporter).
From another perspective, maybe the questioner herself is getting older and can no longer tolerate flaws that her papa has always had—especially things like auditory hypersensitivity.
It isn’t the papa who’s gotten older; it’s the questioner.
Even if that’s not the case, the questioner has aged to roughly the same extent as her papa. That much is undeniable.
The solution is simple: if you can’t tolerate it, you should end things. You’re not married, so there’s no need to put up with it or support him.
The most important point is that caring for an elderly person will make you age as well. For a woman in her 30s, that could be devastating.
As for me, that’s one reason I only date young women around 20. Young people are more resilient in various ways, and they thankfully radiate something like an endless fountain of youth.
So, in conclusion, she should use money to have that papa date someone younger than the questioner. I’m not joking—I genuinely mean it.
There’s no way cutting back on alcohol is going to stop aging. The only thing that might actually work against aging is interacting and dating with young women.
> The papa’s aging seems to be progressing quickly.
After reading your post, though, it sounds more like another factor than aging.
> Careless behavior
I get the feeling he may have always been that kind of person, but used to keep it in check. Recently, he may have simply stopped doing so. It’s also possible he behaved that way around people he was close to even before.
> Ask him to cut back on alcohol, which accelerates aging.
There have apparently been research reports on this for several years, but even if alcohol does accelerate aging, given that most people drink, it would mean that most people’s aging is being accelerated. So I don’t think it’s directly related to what you’re describing.
Also, many people who drink believe that those who don’t are “missing out on half of life,” so conversely, it may be difficult for them to give up something they feel lets them enjoy half of life. And this probably isn’t limited to older people.
> His hearing has gotten worse → It’s stressful having to repeat myself over and over.
After the second time, you could simply stop answering. That might make him realize he needs a hearing aid and decide to get one. If you kindly answer every time he asks you to repeat yourself, he may not feel any need to buy one.
There’s also the possibility that he doesn’t want to wear one out of pride.
I searched online and found that there are hearing aids that aren’t very noticeable when worn. He might be more willing to use one of those.
> He seems more irritated with other cars than before, such as when he’s driving.
Lately, I feel that drivers have become increasingly polarized. For example, on days off, some people drive unbelievably slowly even when there’s nothing in front of them, causing a long line of cars behind them. Some can barely pass a stopped car, even when there’s no oncoming traffic, and you wonder why they’ve stopped. Others slow down almost to a crawl before a fork in the road. They’re probably lost, but if so, I wish they’d turn first, pull over, and then check the map.
Some people even stay in the passing lane on the expressway at around 100 km/h the entire time, even though it isn’t a regular driving lane and should only be used when passing.
Maybe things like that are what irritate him.
As long as he isn’t engaging in aggressive driving, though, I don’t think it’s something you need to worry about too much. You might simply try empathizing with him.
> I’m not sure how to bring it up with him.
It sounds like you’ve become fairly close, so you should choose your words carefully—for example, saying that his difficulty hearing may not be aging but could be hearing loss—but I think it’s best to tell him honestly how you feel.
And if you eventually decide that you really can’t handle it, you can always end the relationship.
