Question for the male members: Before going to a private room, do you negotiate the specific terms of an adult relationship (intimate)?
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Such as whether protection will be used, how many times, what kind of activities you want, and so on.
I’ve never had a private room reserved at a restaurant before, so it’s hard to bring up that kind of topic when you’re sitting in an open area. No man has ever asked me about it either, so I find it difficult to bring it up myself. What should I do?
Reading through the Q&A, it seems that men also run into problems because they didn’t negotiate the details in advance, such as, “I gave her more allowance than usual, but she still wanted protection.” Since this is an important matter for both sides, I feel it’s better to discuss it beforehand.
I’m Saito, a columnist♪
From the woman’s perspective, that’s definitely something you’d want to ask about, right?
But I’ve never asked, and no one has ever asked me either. I feel like whether or not I hear from them again is basically the interview result. lol
I think it also affects the allowance, and since there’s really no fixed market rate, I hope you’ll stay firm about what you want and meet a wonderful man.
As for the timing, I try to work conversations in that make the schedule clear, such as:
“I’ll have a car ready for your trip home.”
“Since it’s late, I’ll take you home early.”
“Let’s have the appetizer and main course here, then head out.”
“I’m thinking we’ll wrap up around XX o’clock. Does that work for you?”
But I never do anything to drag things out. I avoid selling my time too cheaply.
As for the intimate part, I don’t discuss it in particular. I keep things brief, and for hygiene reasons, I shower as soon as possible afterward. I also arrange the car while I’m in the shower.
Occasionally, some women seem to realize, “So Saito-san goes without protection, right?” But I never pressure anyone.
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I’m a male member who’s been with the club for two and a half years—a confused man in his 60s.
I’ve never negotiated the “specific terms regarding an adult relationship” that you mentioned.
Most of my offers are Type B, and I prefer to build enough rapport with a woman first. I also pride myself on behaving like a gentleman, and since this is a form of pseudo-romance...
Especially the first time we go to a room, I put the woman first and act with her perspective in mind regarding the things you mentioned.
This isn’t so-called “sex work,” after all... haha. As for what preferences the two of you may explore afterward, I think that’s entirely up to you both.
I suspect you’re probably Type C and asking this because you’re planning to go to a room on your first date.
While having dinner, you can usually get some sense of whether the man knows how to behave like a gentleman. But if you still can’t tell, I think the only option is to ask directly.
You shouldn’t end up regretting anything after going to the room.
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