I just want to die. papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is making me mentally ill.

Isn’t it exhausting to think that you’re not allowed to do this or that? “You mustn’t have an affair.” “You mustn’t die?” Why is that, exactly? Because people around you say so? I think you should be allowed to choose for yourself. Is it really that wrong? A friend of mine died by suicide. Everyone kept saying that if you stayed alive, something good would happen, and they were angry with her. But she was the one who was suffering. She looked peaceful after she died. I think that was okay. I accepted her choice and saw her off. She passed away peacefully. I thought, “I’m glad you’re finally free…” I didn’t blame her, even after her death. I don’t believe that every single person in the world is capable of adapting to it. If someone is truly suffering, I think choosing to end their life can be an option. Unlike animals, humans are wired in a way that makes this possible. That said, I do think you can maintain the bare minimum standard of living by working, even without papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). So if papa-katsu is the only cause of your problems, I think you should simply quit papa-katsu.

Open up completely to a relatively well-mannered man and win him over with an emotional appeal. Men are weak to the idea that “this woman won’t be okay without me.” Seeing too many men will wear you down. Find a good man to keep you. If you get cut off right away, it’s because he can clearly tell you’re seeing lots of men reluctantly.

No matter how you look at it, having sex with someone you don’t want to be with is absolute hell. Just being around someone you don’t want to be with is painful enough, and it’s even worse when they’re someone you have to entertain, someone who gives you money, or someone whose mood you have to manage… It’s not strange to feel like you want to die even if you’re living a perfectly ordinary life without doing anything like that. Personally, I wouldn’t even want to talk to a man for a minute, let alone spend time with one. I’m extremely quiet, I don’t like being around loud, lively groups, and I’m much more comfortable alone… But strangely, being with women gives me energy instead. I don’t feel tired at all—in fact, it feels like my energy just keeps increasing. I think being around people and in places that don’t match your wavelength can only be exhausting. There’s an expression, “like a fish back in water”… And this applies not only to men, but to women as well. Unless you’re the type who feels more comfortable with the opposite sex than with people of your own gender or age, I don’t think you can really say you’re well suited to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). If you’re not in a place that suits you, you’ll never truly feel at home, no matter how much time passes. What feels comfortable differs from person to person, so unless you find a place where you can relax without forcing yourself, you’ll only continue to suffer—and make it worse. If you become too obsessed with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or Universe, you won’t become richer; you’ll just keep losing yourself instead. Whether you continue or quit, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and Universe are only supposed to be tools for building your life in the real world. Try to picture even a small part of your future and make an effort to move closer to it. Papa-katsu is something done by the lowest of the low among men and women. If you can’t understand that, you’d be better off leaving and finding somewhere else as soon as possible.