I’ve been doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with an adult relationship (intimate) since last year, but I still haven’t been able to find a good match. Before starting papa-katsu, I had no experience with men or relationships, so I don’t really understand what’s enjoyable about intimacy or what pleasure is supposed to feel like. (Since I started taking the pill, I haven’t felt any sexual desire at all, so I don’t masturbate.) Maybe because of that, I tend to just lie there passively, and often things don’t progress to a second meeting after the first time we have an adult relationship (intimate).

> I tend to be pretty passive, and often things don’t continue after having an adult relationship just once. I think you should treat it as a learning experience: watch porn and try acting similarly. Then practice until you can respond so naturally that even you can’t tell whether you’re acting or not. Even if it’s obviously an act at first, I think it’s worth trying to make the same sounds as in porn. Women who are very passive may think, “There’s no way I can do that,” or wonder whether it serves any purpose. But from a man’s perspective, even if it’s clearly not natural, he may think, “Well, she’s trying, so I won’t say anything.” That said, you can’t keep sounding forced forever. I think it’s important to keep studying and making an effort every day to make it feel as natural as possible. Of course, if that sounds like too much trouble, another option seems to be using a dating app, accepting a low allowance, and making up for it through volume. Men may repeat even with someone very passive because the allowance is low. It must be exhausting to see several men in one day, but it seems you can still get repeat customers that way. I imagine it’s basically just a way for them to take care of their urges—a relationship where they simply get what they want. When a man feels like doing it that day, it can apparently turn into an arrangement like: “Can you meet today?” “I can meet in an hour.” They may meet for just 30 minutes. That said, I don’t think men like that are usually in dating clubs, so perhaps it’s something unique to dating apps. > I feel like my self-esteem is gradually disappearing, and it’s becoming painful. You said you’d like to continue papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) a little longer, but I think it may take a toll on your mental health, so it might be better to consider other options.

Get a boyfriend, and if possible, move in together and have lots of loving sex. Once you start enjoying yourself, find a friends-with-benefits partner too and go at it. By then, I think you’ll probably start enjoying sex with your papa as well—unless he’s someone you really dislike. Actually, shortly after I joined the club, a 19-year-old woman became my monthly arrangement. During our first meeting, she just lay there passively, and I couldn’t climax either. But afterward, she said: “I’m sorry I couldn’t make you climax. I’m no good at this, so I don’t need an allowance.” I was totally smitten! Of course I increased her allowance and made the monthly arrangement official. The second time, she was still passive, but her earnestness came through, and her cuteness won me over. She moved in with her boyfriend and became more and more erotic. She started working at a sex cabaret, found a handsome friends-with-benefits partner, and around their third year, she even started climaxing with Fuu. She became so adventurous that she’d say things like, “I want to do it again.” It’s a wonderful memory. It’s pretty rare for a papa to be able to help someone discover that side of themselves, and you probably wouldn’t be in the mood with him anyway. Feelings matter when it comes to sex, so try moving in with your boyfriend and let yourself be awakened.

Why not take about six months off and then try getting back into it? There’s no point in meeting someone reluctantly… I don’t think either of you will enjoy it. What I try to keep in mind is to stay as flexible as possible, enjoy myself too, and not force myself to spend time with someone. Also, I’d say it’s important to make sure you spend some money on yourself, too!

You mean your second question, right? Last time, it was this ↓ ---------- This time, we’re going to meet again after about a month (he chose the date, time, and place). Three days before our appointment, I messaged him asking if everything still worked for him, and... 2025/02/16 17:10 Woman, 20s, unanswered 88423 https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/17541 ---------- If I’d been your first, I might have been able to continue seeing you properly and help you open up, but that’s a shame. I’ve met three girls through Universe who took that step with me and are still seeing me. All three have been seeing me for over two years. Meeting about four times a month, we’ve probably had an adult relationship (intimate) anywhere from 50 to 100 times. If you patiently take things at their pace, even shy girls seem to blossom eventually. One girl even climaxed during intimacy the very first time. Of course, there have also been girls I only saw once, but basically, I enjoy helping someone grow even more than the fact that she’s inexperienced. This may not really answer your question, but I suppose it comes down to finding the right match. If you need the money and can’t quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), don’t give up hope. Keep trying, believing that next time you’ll meet a good papa (a male supporter). Also, it may be more important than you’d think not to judge someone based solely on your first impression. At the same time, you also need to be willing to quickly distance yourself from someone who instinctively feels like a bad fit. I think it’s worth doing your best to make them like you at least through the second meeting.

If you’re forcing yourself to continue seeing someone even though you’re not enjoying it, it’s only natural to end up feeling that way. Trying to fix it by simply changing your mindset is forcing yourself, and people often end up mentally unwell when they push themselves to do something that doesn’t suit them. I wouldn’t recommend continuing something that makes you lose your self-esteem. Once your mental health takes a hit, it can affect you for a long time and be really difficult to deal with.

From the perspective of mainstream society, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is seen as something awful and unnecessary. It may be a world that only a very small number of men and women are suited to and can enjoy. The fact that you’re spending time thinking about whether you’re suited for it seems contrary to making the most of your one life, and feels like a waste of time. It also seems unlikely that you’ll gain much from it. You’re still young, and your possibilities are endless. You can try all kinds of things you want to do, and you could even earn more than men—far more than the allowance. From the man’s side, judging only from the content of your question, many men would probably feel that meeting you was a waste of time. Haven’t you asked a question before? Even from your previous question, you gave off a strongly transactional vibe, so I feel that very few men would want to continue seeing you as a relationship. It seems like it would be difficult unless you find a man who is willing to meet only occasionally for an adult relationship (intimate), treating it almost like a personal escort arrangement. I think it would be better for you to look for a place where you won’t be under excessive pressure. That said, if you’ve read all this and still feel determined to give it a try, please continue exploring papa-katsu at your own pace. There may be a man out there who’s willing to walk alongside you—including an adult relationship (intimate)—at a pace that suits you.