I’m in my early 20s, and I received an offer from someone in their late 20s. What’s the deal with people in their 20s doing papa-katsu? It feels a little scary—could it be some kind of solicitation? I don’t think they’d need to use this site, so it seems suspicious.

I’ve been thinking lately that there seem to be a lot of younger people! So it’s like that overall, huh? ( ॣo ᴗo )

I’m not sure whether men in their 20s can really be called papas, but they seem to be fairly common these days. Their allowances tend to be on the low side, but since they’re around the same age—or slightly older—some women apparently don’t mind. That said, many older men also try to negotiate the allowance down. In that sense, it may be easier emotionally to accept a lower allowance because he’s around your age than to be haggled down by an older man. Apparently, there are also some young men who pay over ¥100,000 on a pay-per-meeting basis. However, some of them secretly film women and make money selling the videos on video sites, reportedly earning over ¥1 million a month, so you need to be careful. Of course, there are probably people who do the same thing even if they aren’t young, so you need to be cautious with anyone. ※If you think you may have been secretly filmed, first take a photo of the suspected recording device with your own phone as evidence. Even if the other person claims it was just a charger or a pair of glasses, having a photo will allow you to check later whether it was actually a recording device. If they claim they simply left it there, it’s probably best to call the police. If you don’t secure evidence on the spot, someone making excuses may destroy it, and the longer you wait, the more disadvantaged you’ll be. However, if you’re angry about being filmed and want to get money from the person, I think it would be a good idea to negotiate while recording the conversation on your phone. Your leverage would be to say, “If you refuse, I’ll call the police,” without naming a specific amount yourself. Instead, ask what they’re prepared to do to show their sincerity. If you also tell them that secretly filming someone is a criminal offense and that the fine can be as much as ¥3 million, they’ll probably either pay the woman ¥3 million or become defiant and accept being arrested. Even if you don’t receive compensation, having them arrested means they’ll be held socially accountable, and it may prevent other women from becoming victims in the future. It still seems worthwhile. Also, people who secretly film others are probably doing it elsewhere too. If they’re arrested, the police may investigate whether they’ve done the same thing to other women. Their home could also be searched, and videos of other women might be found, which could lead to more serious charges.

A woman I was supporting when I was in my early thirties told me something similar. In my case, as Mac mentioned, I gave her an allowance because it allowed us to have a relationship with clear boundaries, without her expecting marriage.

It seems to be pretty common these days. They probably want a clean, transactional relationship with no strings attached. I think that’s the right way to use a dating club.