I’m the person who asked the question above. Thank you so much for your answers.
There’s one thing I’d like to add. Sometimes, when a man can’t finish, he keeps trying for two or three hours, and I have no idea when it’s going to end. I’d also like to ask what I should do in situations like that. (I’ve tried taking a shower, but when I came back out, he started touching my breasts again.)
Since I’m receiving an allowance, I’m not sure whether it’s okay to say, “Let’s end things here.” What would be the appropriate thing to do?
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Don’t give in.
Even if it means ending things, say no when something makes you uncomfortable.
If you don’t speak up, it becomes the default, and men aren’t very good at picking up on hints.
I say that as someone who failed to notice the signs myself and ended up parting ways with an important woman. I regret it. I used to be much more sensitive to those signals, but I messed up.
Looking at it from a woman’s perspective, please don’t continue your papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) if it means putting up with things you hate. End it and find someone better.
I’ll do my best to find my next partner too...
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> I’d also like to ask what I should do in situations like that.
I think it depends on the person.
If he gives you a generous allowance every time and you’d like to continue seeing him, the best option may be to do nothing and simply go along with what he wants.
Even if you don’t know whether it’ll end after two or three hours, you could act as though you’re happy just to be spending time with him…
If the allowance is more average, then after about an hour, you could mention that you have a nail appointment or plans to meet a friend later, and apologetically say that you can only stay for about one more hour—around two hours total.
Basically, I think it comes down to whether you want to continue seeing that person.
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If it’s too long and painful, tell him clearly but gently.
If you’re not getting a six-figure allowance, say goodbye unless he’s willing to have it corrected.
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Don’t you think no one else can decide whether something is okay to say?
I don’t consider a relationship without communication to be a real relationship. And if someone keeps pushing for hours just because I won’t go along with it, I don’t think that’s how you should treat a partner.
If you feel it would be inappropriate to end things because the person has been giving you an allowance, then why not continue seeing him? It seems like a balanced arrangement between a man who thinks he’s buying and a woman who thinks she’s being bought.
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That sounds more like personal prostitution than papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
It doesn’t seem like a relationship at all—just a dull arrangement where neither person cares about the other. The man wants an adult relationship (intimate), the woman wants the allowance, and that’s what keeps the arrangement going.
If you’re okay with that, then you can continue. But if you want to enjoy papa-katsu itself, it would be better to find a papa (a male supporter) who respects you as an equal and end things with this papa as soon as possible.
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