The other day, while we were having intercourse, my papa asked, “I can’t feel anything anymore—am I still hard?”
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He’s only in his 30s, but I’m wondering if he might have ED. He’s fully erect during foreplay, but often loses his erection when he tries to put on a condom. (He does things like licking my nipples while putting it on.) I’m wondering if that has something to do with it…
This is a serious concern for me. Why does this happen? Is there anything we can do to fix it?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
The first thing that comes to mind is putting the condom on quickly with your mouth, maybe.
I think the man should take the initiative in thinking about things like ED medication or drinks. Why not bring it up with him?
More dangerous than that is:
Condom goes on → he gets smaller → the condom slips off → he finishes inside without protection.
In other words, there’s a risk of contraceptive failure. STIs are scary too, so it might be best to be careful ( ܸ ⩌⩊⩌ ܸ )
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How about giving him oral with a condom on? And tell him to stop touching your nipples.
If he can’t get hard in the first place or loses his erection, there are ED medications. You could recommend them to him, saying, “They’re prescription meds, and apparently they get you rock-hard and feel great!”
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Women may not be able to tell exactly how aroused they are without touching themselves, and men can also have trouble knowing how fully erect they are unless they look or touch.
Separately, some men lose their erection when they try to put on or actually put on a condom. That happened to me too, but it went away after trying various things. In my case, if I had to sum it up in one phrase, I think it was probably psychological ED.
The solution will vary from person to person, but for me, it was resolved by taking ED medication, avoiding sex with partners I wasn’t particularly interested in, and continuing to have only highly satisfying sex that genuinely excited me and that I could lose myself in.
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That’s a type of delayed ejaculation.
“Most cases involve masturbation techniques that differ from the kind of stimulation provided inside the vagina. Also, because the person often masturbates with stronger stimulation than usual, they may feel that inserting a penis into the vagina doesn’t feel like anything or isn’t pleasurable.”
The link above explains possible solutions and treatments, but if the woman treats it too seriously, it will probably have the opposite effect. It would be better to casually tell him, “Apparently that’s called delayed ejaculation. I found it here,” and act unfazed. If he wants to do something about it himself, he’ll make the effort.
At least he’s a papa (a male supporter), not your boyfriend.
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