I’m having fun with the dating club, but I may be getting in too deep
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I joined last March. Before that, I had ordinary, non-transactional relationships with three people in their 50s whom I met through dating apps. However, whenever the relationship became serious, they would ask me to marry them, so I ended things each time.
I’m single (my wife passed away), but I’ve never really been able to take the step toward marriage. I also tried visiting sex workers—they were very attentive at soaplands, but it still felt somehow empty.
Since joining the dating club, I’ve gone on dates with seven women, four of whom I became intimate with. I’ve now been seeing one particular woman for about six months, and we’ve been intimate around 15 times. We exchange messages on LINE almost every day.
She’s in her 30s and doesn’t place much importance on romance, but she’s very dedicated to improving herself and spends quite a lot on things like beauty treatments and skincare. She’s been married and has children, but she looks great and seems to be fairly popular at the club.
Even though it was a pseudo-romance, I really enjoyed our interactions. I never felt any jealousy about her seeing other men, but recently I’ve started wanting to become closer to her. We already have an adult relationship (intimate), so what would becoming even closer actually mean?
I don’t know any of her personal information—just her name and LINE ID. I’ve even considered spending enough money to have her see only me.
But sometimes I wonder if that would be going too far. (I’m completely in too deep, right?)
I thought seeing someone else would change how I feel, but it didn’t.
What should I do? I’d really appreciate everyone’s advice.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂60s👑Universe male member
If you start wanting to know even their personal details, you’re pretty deep in（笑）
If you’re a mature adult, I think it’s better to take a step back and look at things objectively instead of getting sucked in.
When someone comes after you with such single-minded focus, it’s only natural to want to run.
Try seeing a few more people (*´д｀*) More!
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If she places a lot of importance on her beauty, it’s probably best not to be too controlling.
It depends on your budget, but beauty care can be incredibly expensive. Why not ask her anyway, even if you don’t expect much? Just be prepared for her to say, “As if you have that kind of money.”
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At my age, I don’t get moved by much anymore… but when my favorite girl gave me a key and I found myself alone in her room, getting things ready in advance, I felt just a little happy. —Paper Airplane
Wait, are you replying with a diary entry too?
Wanting to be exclusive is something the woman has to want; it isn’t something the man gets to decide.
From the way you’ve written this, it sounds like you haven’t become intimate yet.
Once you do become intimate, she’ll have more opportunities to share personal information. And as you grow closer, she may even make notes, keep records, memorize your number, or otherwise find ways to stay in touch—even if her phone breaks, she loses her data, or the LINE transfer doesn’t go smoothly.
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Is this another case of writing a diary entry and then turning it into a question by ending with, “I’d appreciate your advice”?
Does the person asking these questions really only have one or two particular people throughout the year?
I suppose they are phrasing it as a question, but something about it still feels off to me.
As for the main point, even if you want to have someone all to yourself, you can’t do that unless they feel the same way. So I think you should do what you want, as long as it doesn’t inconvenience the other person.
That said, I’d like you to think carefully about where the line is—at what point your actions start becoming a burden to them.
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I’m hooked on dating clubs too, so I get where Fuu is coming from.
But I’m not so sure. If she’s satisfied with your current relationship, she might suddenly find your feelings too heavy and start feeling uncomfortable.
If you’re okay with her disliking you, you could try asking for exclusivity. But it would be a little embarrassing, wouldn’t it? When a man gets too emotionally invested, he tends to become less appealing.
I think you can change. Maybe you just feel that something’s missing because you haven’t had adult relationships with enough other women.
Your words can limit your actions, so instead of telling yourself it’s impossible, try looking around. There are so many women registered here…
Make lots of offers, and just give it a try—go all out, even if you think you might be making a fool of yourself.
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If you have enough assets to keep him exclusively, I think that could work too. You might become even closer. But if you aren’t already fairly close, he may turn down an exclusivity arrangement.
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