Do you ever reach out to women you haven’t seen in a while?
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A few men I met only once message me every year around New Year’s or during the month we first met through a setting. They originally made me offers more than five years ago, before COVID.
I can’t tell whether they’re messaging casually, thinking they might get lucky, or because they genuinely want to reconnect. What do you think their intentions are?
I’ve always ignored their messages, but lately it feels like things may be coming to an end with my current papa, so I’m wondering whether I should reply this time. That’s why I wanted to ask.
If it’s someone you’ve only met once or so:
Around New Year’s Day and the New Year holidays, I sometimes get LINE messages from women I offered to meet the previous year but have only met once or so, asking things like, “When can we meet next?” or “Are you free sometime this month?” (I’ve even met up with them in response.)
There’s really no particular need for the man to message first.
For women, New Year’s may be a good opportunity to send a LINE message, but with a dating club, neither side really needs to reach out to someone they haven’t been in touch with for a long time. The man probably doesn’t even remember her and has no interest in reconnecting, so I don’t think there’s any need to go out of your way to meet.
That said, even if you’ve only met once, if you’ve been discussing things privately via LINE or another messaging app, I don’t think you need to cut off that connection. It’s perfectly fine to continue offering advice whenever she needs it, even if you don’t meet in person.
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I don’t contact people again if we only met once, since there was usually some issue and it didn’t continue.
But with monthly arrangements that ended after we’d met several times, I sometimes stay in touch even after we break things off.
I’ve had sex with three of them again. We didn’t continue seeing each other regularly, though…
It’s exciting and feels great when it happens occasionally.
One of them said, “I wanted to see you too.”
(What she really meant: “I wanted some money right now—just this once,” lol.)
And I was like, “Haha.”
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No.
I sometimes hear from someone I used to see after we’ve stopped meeting, but I almost never get contacted by someone I’ve only met once.
It’s hard to imagine someone genuinely wanting to see you again after just one meeting, so in most cases, they’re probably hoping to get lucky.
And honestly, a man who develops strong feelings after meeting someone only once would be kind of scary.
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It probably depends on how things ended, but if the man wanted to continue seeing her and she was the one who ended things, then he may still want to see her again—especially if they parted on good terms after saying proper goodbyes.
That may be why he contacts you from time to time. However, he may also simply want to have dinner as friends, without money being involved. So even if you decide to meet him, I think it’s best to stay somewhat cautious.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that kind of friendship if you’re comfortable with it. But if that’s not what you want, I think you should be careful.
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I’m happy with my current monthly arrangement, so I don’t reach out to anyone myself.
That said, wouldn’t it be better to go with someone who has at least a few good qualities rather than a complete stranger? If you feel you need a backup, you can reply and make them a more demanding offer.
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