I’d especially like to ask Makeotoko, who seems to be the richest person among the respondents.

Thank you. I’m actually kind of happy to see a question with this many obvious points to call out. Saying “I’m confident about my looks” comes across as pretty painful, but if you’re really that confident, why not use a dating app? Then you wouldn’t have to worry about paying an allowance. If you can’t get matches on dating apps, then your looks are the problem, lol. You’re getting older too, so maybe you should just honestly accept that and continue here by paying an allowance as compensation for putting up with you. Fuu is on the same side, after all, lol. You’ve made offers more than 50 times and still haven’t had anyone you were seeing? That seems seriously unusual. You’ve put up with a lot, lol. If it were Fuu, I’d probably end up going with someone. Conclusion: Why not offer that one woman an allowance of over ¥100,000 and spend over ¥100,000 on dates, for a rough total of ¥300,000 a month? Good women have a lot of competition, so rather than trying to be her number one like Fuu does, aim to be a second-choice papa (or lower) who isn’t painful, clingy, or demanding; respects her; and takes care of his appearance, especially his smell. If she chooses you, you might be able to make it work even with five meetings. Judging from your post, though, that may be difficult. So focus on that one woman, go all in with your monthly budget, and do your best to outbid the other papas. I’m rooting for you!

This isn’t exactly related, but… For example, as Mac says, if 100 is placed right in front of her and the girl chooses it and takes it, what do you think the man feels in that moment? I feel like he probably wouldn’t be happy about it, so maybe it really is a psychological game. Also, I’m not good at psychological games, so if the girl is similarly wary, she might just turn it down altogether… By the way, I’m not good with people who are especially attractive. If there’s enough time, I’d go with Plan 1 from Makeo’s suggestion. Having enough time, being easy to talk to, compatibility, intimate compatibility, feeling comfortable together… that kind of thing!? I think those are important to both men and women. It’s not like looks or money alone are enough. Being able to naturally have conversations like, “Dandadan is pretty fun, huh?” matters too. The bigger the amount, the sooner things end. It tends to last longer when you receive a moderate amount that lets you spend time together comfortably~

Emmy, whom I approached this summer, was a woman I truly wanted to make my mistress. After dinner, we ended up discussing the allowance. Mine isn’t especially generous—probably lower than what Emmy had in mind. Even so, I’m not entirely sure why she said yes. As you know, I’m not particularly good-looking like you, the questioner, nor am I especially polished or sophisticated in my manner. Still, if I may be so presumptuous, I believe Emmy said yes because she appreciated my personality. My strengths are my curiosity and my wide range of conversation topics, from lighthearted to serious. And, actually, I’m fairly loose with my purse strings—and since it has a hidden compartment, there’s a decent amount in there. I just don’t volunteer that information. Your strength, questioner, is your attractive appearance. It will certainly work in your favor at times. At the same time, though, it may end up being of no use whatsoever in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). In that case, it comes down to the amount of money—but if it’s absolutely necessary, then the amusingly unhelpful conclusion is simply: do what you can afford. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help. I’m off to Nijō Castle with Emmy now, so I’ll be going.

> “I’ve seen the other male members, and purely in terms of looks, I’ve never seen anyone better than me.” > “Looks are the one thing I’m confident about.” At that point, I can’t help wondering, “Is this person going to be okay?” But setting that aside, there’s always someone better-looking. If your budget is limited, then even if you desperately want someone to become your mistress, sometimes it’s simply not possible. And if you’re already focusing on how attractive you are, I feel women may be put off by that. I have heard people talk that way on dating apps, but it seems to be because those men are in their twenties. So unless you’re in your twenties as well, I think you’re better off letting go of that mindset. Based on your budget, if you’re planning to meet twice a month, the math works out to about 100,000 yen per pay-per-meeting arrangement. So you could propose 100,000 yen per meeting, or plan to meet once a month and make your offer of 200,000 yen per meeting. (Assuming the monthly total is 200,000–300,000 yen.) If that still doesn’t work, then she was simply beyond your budget. By the way, through the premium female introduction system—where invitations are sent only to highly rated male members at the Tokyo branch—there are women who set their transportation reimbursement, under the name of an honorarium, at 50,000 yen for dinner only. If dinner only costs five to ten times the usual amount, I imagine the relationship afterward would also require five to ten times the usual amount. There’s all kinds of people in this world. If you want to push yourself, you’re free to do so. You’re also free to enjoy yourself without overextending your budget. P.S. I wasn’t trying to imitate Ken Takakura. The way it led into Dandadan made me think, “Oh, this person really does watch it.” At first, the idea that a woman would get excited over that name was a bit much, but the second half has a different kind of charm...

Is it really okay to get so invested in a woman who’s never been on an adult date? What if it turns into a Manchurian Incident? What if she’s completely unresponsive? What if she’s the biting type? At the very least, it takes dating a woman for two years before you can say, “She’s really great.” And among the more than 170 women I’ve met, only one or two were truly wonderful. Setting that aside, given your budget: Plan 1 ・Monthly allowance: 300,000 yen ・Four dates per month ・Two adult relationships (intimate) + two dinners per month Plan 2 ・Monthly allowance: 250,000 yen ・Three dates per month ・Two adult relationships (intimate) + one dinner per month Plan 3 ・Monthly allowance: 200,000 yen ・Three dates per month ・One adult relationship (intimate) + two dinners per month Dates should be no longer than three hours. If you keep a popular woman tied up for too long, she’ll dump you in two seconds. Please make a clear, specific offer, including the length of each date. Don’t ask her what she wants; clearly communicate all the terms of the arrangement, including the date duration. Use LINE or something similar so there’s a written record of the agreement. The worst thing you can do is make the offer vague—or try to extend the date beyond what you offered. I also don’t think a pay-per-meeting arrangement is appropriate if she’s a woman you genuinely want to cherish. By the way, which woman are we talking about? I’d like to make her an offer myself. I’d love to meet this wonderful woman and see what she’s like. ◆Addendum I think it’s fine for people to have different approaches. I respect the opinion that relying on money alone isn’t necessarily the right way to go. That said, I do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because I don’t want to run away from money. These women joined Universe Club because they were struggling financially. They didn’t sign up to be intimate with men 20, 30, or 40 years older than them. I fully understand how much resolve it takes for a woman to offer her body to an older man—or even an elderly man. I have no problem with women meeting me purely for the money. I don’t run away from money. I provide as much support as possible to women who are struggling financially, and in return, they offer me their bodies. There’s nothing empty about that at all. I believe money is a symbol of a male’s strength. I’ve told my long-term monthly partners many times: “When I can no longer earn money, that’s when we’ll part ways. I have no intention of running away from money, and I’m not going to say something foolish like, ‘Please keep seeing me without money.’” I know I’m repeating myself, but this is simply my stance. The questioner is free to compete using weapons other than money, such as looks. More importantly, I can’t stop wondering about Emmy. Joe the novelist, please tell us Emmy’s story. m(__)m

If you like her that much, I don’t think there’s any need to bring up the allowance. What matters most is believing that things will work out. If you feel she’s superior to anyone else, including in terms of her looks, there’s no need to rush—just approach her with confidence and composure. A woman that wonderful will undoubtedly be attracted to qualities beyond money as well. In fact, that’s where you can really set yourself apart. Wouldn’t it feel empty to connect mainly through money? Especially with someone that appealing… Even if she’s a club woman, I think it’s perfectly fine for both of you to be genuinely drawn to each other within the context of a club arrangement, and for the allowance side of things to work out afterward as well. I believe that kind of relationship is much more likely to last.

Would a woman he desperately wanted to make his mistress really worry about whether to offer her the usual 50,000 yen for an adult relationship, or wonder how much to offer this time? What do you think about handing her a long wallet with around 1 million yen in it and saying, “Take as much as you like”? To spell it out a little more, I’d put a wallet containing about 1 million yen on the table and say: “I usually offer 50,000 yen for an adult relationship. But you’re incredibly attractive. To me, you’re priceless—I couldn’t possibly put a value on you. So please take as much as you like from that wallet. Oh, and just so there’s no misunderstanding: I’m not genuinely in love with you. I understand that this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and I won’t follow you around or anything, so please don’t worry about that. And please don’t be suspicious just because this sounds too good to be true. I’m not very good with words, so this is the only way I could think of doing it. I’m not trying to imitate Takakura Ken. Have you watched the anime Dandadan? It’s pretty funny, isn’t it?” (nervous laugh)

I know I wasn’t really being asked, but I’ll answer anyway. No matter how much money you offer, there are some things I simply won’t accept. On the other hand, if I feel comfortable with someone, I’ll continue seeing them even if the amount isn’t that high. I don’t think trying to solve everything with money alone is the right approach. P.S. Even for a pay-per-meeting allowance of ¥50,000, I think ¥50,000 is plenty for a one-hour dinner-only date. But even a monthly allowance of ¥500,000 might not be enough if you prohibit her from seeing other papas. Why focus on the amount alone? I do acknowledge that money is a powerful selling point. But I think the most important thing is to respect what the woman is looking for in the relationship.

If I wanted her to be my mistress and she always asked for 50,000 yen, I’d offer 50,000 yen. Even if you overextend yourself in the moment, it won’t last.