> Is there a way to turn him down?
You need to clearly say when you don’t like something. Men can be incredibly insensitive about these things. They tend to operate on the strange logic that, “Since she didn’t firmly say no, I guess it’s okay.”
So I think it’s best to clearly say that you don’t want to do something. Especially when it comes to photos, unlike other matters, saying no is unlikely to affect the relationship.
(That said, it depends on the person, so you need to judge the situation carefully. Still, I feel that ending the relationship would be better than having your photos taken against your will.)
As for compensation, one or so photos taken over dinner might be okay. But if there are dozens of them, I think it would create a bad impression with a judge if the matter went to court, making it more likely that the relationship would be deemed an affair.
So even if you don’t know exactly how things would play out, I think it’s always better to be cautious.
By the way, more than half of men show their female partners’ photos to other people, so please be careful. Apparently, some of them have this weird urge to brag, like, “Look, I’m dating a woman this beautiful.”
I honestly have no idea why that would be something to brag about, though...
I have a feeling that the man’s wife has noticed but chooses to let it go.
A man who’s that careless—almost bizarrely unguarded—would probably be doing similar things with other women too. And since he’s likely been that way for years and isn’t going to change, his wife may figure that at least his behavior is easy to see coming.
There’s a papa (a male supporter) I know who has a relationship with a female university student. For his elementary-school child’s birthday party or something, he apparently invited the student to their home to help his wife prepare the food. I can’t tell whether it’s some kind of fetish or if he’s just completely oblivious.
To put it more simply for the person who asked: a wife who’s willing to have photos taken of her husband posing with a papa-katsu girl and shown to his friends is probably a pretty unusual person herself, much like her husband. His personality probably hasn’t changed since they met, so a woman who would get jealous and angry about it probably wouldn’t have married him in the first place.
Incidentally, when I heard about the papa who invited a university student to his home, I felt really uncomfortable. I have some pretty unusual tastes myself—I’ve even made a Magic Mirror van—but I thought, “So this is how disturbing someone else’s preferences can feel when you can’t relate to them at all.” Still, I suppose feeling disgusted by it means my mind is still narrow-minded, just like prejudice against LGBT people.
As for compensation, though, I don’t think a photo of the two of them together would, by itself, prove an affair. If he ever suggests taking a commemorative photo while entering a love hotel together, refuse firmly—at least that one time.
