Is it over once you and your papa have talked about breaking up???

Thank you for your question! My name is Kurosaki from the Shinsaibashi branch of Universe Club. It depends on the circumstances of the breakup, but I believe getting back together is certainly possible. The system now hides profiles 20 days after a date, but before that, there have been many cases where a date was arranged again with an offer saying, “We broke up before, but I’d like to see her again.” I think you still have a chance!

If it comes to talking about breaking up, it’s probably already too late. The same goes the other way around. Sometimes there are warning signs before a breakup is brought up, so it’s better to take action at that stage.

Just like with dating or marriage, getting back together is possible, though it’s probably pretty rare. I guess it comes down to luck?

1st place: Broke up once, then got back together five months later Tied for 1st: We had the breakup talk about 20 times around the time I got married, but she absolutely refused to accept it, so we stayed together 3rd place: I broke up with her twice; one breakup was mutual, but we got back together three times and are still together. There’s no allowance involved now. She’s a celebrity. That’s the ranking of my monthly arrangements. I’ve gotten back together with girls after having breakup talks like these. With the third-place girl, we were apart for as long as a year after I broke up with her. With the others, I ended things by leaving them on read or unread, so we never actually had a breakup conversation. > So for the person asking this question, once about six months have passed and things have cooled down... Mac-san slipped that into his answer, but this is genuinely a golden piece of advice. The girls I got back together with didn’t contact me for anywhere from five months to a year. Just when I started wondering nostalgically, “I wonder how she’s doing,” they would message me saying, “Are you doing well, Makeo-san?” and that’s how we got back together. For now, take some distance from your papa (a male supporter), then try contacting her after about six months have passed. I think there’s still a chance.

I think it would be better to move on. Once things have reached the point where this kind of conversation is happening, their motivation has already dropped. You often hear about companies trying to persuade employees to stay after they hand in their resignation, but even when they do stay, they usually don’t last long and end up leaving anyway.

I basically think it’s a no-go. My way of ending things is to delete the chat without reading it, but sometimes, months later, I’ll get a message like, “How have you been?” The thing is, about half the time, I don’t even remember who they were. I delete the chat history, so all I have to go by is their LINE name and profile picture. If we only met once or twice, of course I’m not going to know who they are. Even when I do remember the girl, I also remember why I decided to cut things off, so I never reply. On the other hand, sometimes I send a LINE message and it remains unread. In those cases, I at least check whether I’ve been blocked. If I really can’t figure out why, I might send a follow-up message, but I’ve never had anyone reply after that. I assume they have their own reasons. There were two girls who had suicidal thoughts and suddenly stopped marking my messages as read without any warning. They may really have died. I can remember only one girl who came back and continued seeing me for several years afterward. It was less than a year after I started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and I didn’t have anyone I was seeing regularly yet. I was busy making offers to new girls one after another, so I can’t remember the exact reason, but I ended things by deleting her unread messages. About six months later, she contacted me through social media I was using at the time and said, “I’d like to see you again.” I remember thinking, “How did she even find me when I never told her about that account?” Anyway, we decided to meet again. So, to the person asking the question: after about six months, once things have cooled down, you might be able to meet him again if you contact him through the papa’s social media rather than the LINE account you used before. The six-month gap is the key. Unlike women, men tend to remember things more favorably as time passes, until eventually they only remember the good points. The social media part moved me a little because I thought, “She went that far to look for me?” I can also think of two other girls who broke things off with me once and later came back, though both situations were unusual. They may not be helpful as examples, but I’ll mention them anyway. One ended things because she got engaged, but then I found out her fiancé was abusing her—she sent me an SOS—so I went to get her out. The other girl had been sexually abused by her father. She became extremely attached to me, almost dependent on me, but eventually started directing all the negative feelings she had been suppressing toward her father at me. I thought it might be something like what psychology calls negative transference, so I distanced myself for a while. About a year later, I contacted her and asked, “How have you been?” She still occasionally reaches out and we meet from time to time. We don’t have sex anymore. I hug her and pat her on the head, and she clings to me saying, “I’m happy.” I feel good too, and we’ve found a comfortable distance. She’s moved out and is managing to live on her own away from her father, but apparently she gets lonely sometimes. I feel that watching over her is one small form of atonement for my soul, which has been sullied by papa-katsu. Anyway, getting back to the point: in your case, it sounds like it’s actually turned into a breakup conversation, right? I’ve only ever ended things by deleting unread messages, so I’ve never had a “breakup talk.” I’m the type who avoids anything mentally stressful as thoroughly as possible. If I argue with a woman, I shut down. I never debate or negotiate. So maybe this papa isn’t the same type as me. In that case, I take back what I said earlier—there may still be room to talk things through and find a compromise. If so, this is basically a business negotiation. You need to stay calm, avoid showing weakness, and try to come out as favorably as possible. Sometimes you may even need to bluff a little, to the point of intimidating the other person. If you openly reveal your honest feelings by asking, “Is it really over once I’ve had a breakup conversation with my papa???” you might end up being manipulated by him, with the arrangement continuing only after he reduces your allowance. Since he’s lived longer than you, he’s probably better at this sort of thing. So this time, you might want to accept that you could lose and carefully observe his negotiation tactics—it could be a valuable learning experience. Come to think of it, if he truly wanted to cut things off, he wouldn’t bother having a “breakup conversation”; he’d just end it quickly. The fact that he’s turning it into a breakup discussion may mean he’s trying to steer things toward reducing your allowance. If you’re married, you have a “breakup conversation” because legal divorce requires mutual agreement. In a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, people have them because one or both parties often still have romantic feelings. But in papa-katsu, the allowance is paid pay-per-meeting, so the settlement is already complete as a kind of severance payment. There shouldn’t be any need for a “breakup conversation.” Using employment as an analogy, it’s like being laid off from a temp job: “You don’t need to come in starting tomorrow,” and that’s the end of it. I’m starting to feel more and more that he’s definitely aiming to negotiate a reduction.

It depends on the person and the situation. Sometimes it’s not okay, and sometimes it is. I don’t think it’s good to make blanket judgments.